Re: [OSList] speaking from the center

[Harold Shinsato]

Great sharings from all around... This might also help... something I read in a book about llama care. Llamas don't like to be touched normally, but if you do it often enough they become desensitized and won't mind being touched and handled. The same is true for a lot of things humans don't feel comfortable about - at first. It's one of the reasons Lisa's training was so valuable for me - getting experience walking and talking in the circle "desensitizes" to the discomfort so one can spend more time tuning into the energy of the room and being what they need from me as a facilitator. That's also a lot easier when I already feel I have a relationship with the theme and the people because of strong pre-work (another thing Lisa emphasizes). It has also helped knowing a lot of the people in the room - getting a chance to talk make eye contact even before getting into the circle, and having some friendly faces to help remember it's all good. And the trick that Harrison mentioned is also something that Dale Carnegie put in his "How to Win Friends and Influence People" classic. If you feel nervous, just admit it and move on. The transparency puts people at ease and you stop having to fight wondering whether anyone is noticing that you are nervous.     Harold On 11/18/10 9:42 PM, Lisa Heft wrote: Hello, dear Eleder - once again you ask great questions. Everyone has shared so wonderfully. The only things I would add are: In my Open Space Learning Workshop one of the things folks do is practice walking and talking in that circle. And yes - others have mentioned as you have their concern with having their backs to someone as they speak. What they have found is similar to what was mentioned here - if you look a few people ahead and keep moving (slowly, breathing, present) you are indeed never having your back to anyone for very long. If you turn your head as you move you are including people behind you as you travel, as well. If your voice is loud enough or you have a microphone everyone can hear you even if you are not facing everyone. Of course this is all different if some people in your circle have any hearing differences such as deafness or other hearing loss - so it is always good to ask on registration forms who has any access / ability / mobility issues they would like to bring to event coordinators' attention. Then you have this extra info if you need it for some individuals, and can give them extra eye contact or some notes as well. It is true that having too small a circle and towering over people is hard for them - so do make a nice big circle with room in between each chair. And if it is too small on the inside I see no problem with walking the outside of the circle (though when I have done this some of my OS colleagues have *gasped* !.  But it is so I do not close everyone in too tightly, in those instances. I have also learned from my workshop participants that if you have any nervousness about looking people in the eye, try instead....looking at the tops of their heads (!). It often feels like you are looking at them - try it. But I think you will become more and more comfortable as you practice, sort how you like to say things, and experience yourself doing it more and more. Sometimes if it is a tense event to come - I may set up the circle and then walk, it, before any participants arrive. And I envision the participants and their listening faces, and I smile and welcome them before they get there. Mostly - Suzanne said it so well: it is of course not about you. It is about them. So if you focus on them and on making your voice and the instructions something they can hear and that invites them, then once you begin you are in partnership with them - and they can feel it... And the other 'mostly' is: remember you are in your walking, your breathing, your explaining - creating a container that is open and welcoming and has tools and a process - so that they can do their best work. You are with your walk, your voice, your instructions, your breathing... weaving that open and inviting container. And in your walking you are invoking (calling in) energy.   And you know how to do that, dear Eleder - just.... breathe.... and ... go.... and be amazed, as I know you are.... Lisa Lisa Heft Consultant, Facilitator, Educator Opening Space lisah...@openingspace.net -- Harold Shinsato har...@shinsato.com http://shinsato.com twitter: @hajush * * ========================================================== osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu ------------------------------ To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu: http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html To learn about OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs: http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist