Birgitt, I honour your courage and your honesty...
Doing community is hard... I've been watching the unfolding of this list with interest and up until now haven't really had a lot to contribute... Reading your truthful account was a very beautiful experience for me because I believe that authenticity is the essence of Open Space... I use Open Space, the principles and philosophies everyday in my work... I have absolute love and a heartful of thanks to Harrison for what he has birth and so generously given to the world... and I choose to stay generally outside of the community that is forming around OS... I'm a minimalist, yet I know that as soon as people come together to use OS on OS then the probability is a polarisation towards the beliefs that each one of us holds as "right"... I choose to be "happy" and learn each and everyday from my experiences and the unfolding that such beautiful space brings to me... And some would accuse me of being selfish, although I'm always delighted to help anyone out who asks... At the same time I have the marginal privilege and absolute responsibility of being the leader of a business (and I guess a community) that is endeavouring to bring spirit back into the business world... We have deep levels of honesty and regular opportunities for everyone to share and process their stuff and still it bubbles over and often the accuser will reflect all of their anguish and limited thinking as stuff that has something to do with me... Of course the only way through it is a big dose of the truth laced with significant amounts of compassion... The good news is that for all the "hard" that community is... it's worth ever ounce of the tons of pain that I've had to endure... and it happens slowly and over time... The question that I would ask you is how is the OS community bounded... The only thing that keeps our community heading in the right direction and with commitment that pulls people together rather than pushing it apart is the depth our culture is defined by the Vision, Mission, Purpose and Values that we all hold... OS is a gift to the world... Can we form a community that ensures that it could possibly fulfil the vision and possibility that Harrison (and many others) hold for it... Who will hold the space... or can the idea hold it's own space... could it be that custodians are necessary, just as we must always have a custodian of the space in an OS... Many questions... undoubtably OS has become stronger through the fiery path you all walked in Monterey... Love & Light Rod Douglas Live long and prosper... Succe$$ystems International Pty Ltd 'Plethora' Jardine Road Beechmont Qld 4211 Australia 61 7 55 333 013 61 7 55 333 012 http://www.successystems.com -----Original Message----- From: OSLIST [mailto:osl...@listserv.idbsu.edu]On Behalf Of Birgitt Bolton Sent: Tuesday, 24 November 1998 8:37 To: osl...@listserv.idbsu.edu Subject: OSONOS-my struggles,my viewpoint Reporting about Open Space on Open Space is hard. Hard to put into words. For sure, the notes below are my own experience, my own opinion, opinions which may not be similar to those of anyone else. Please bear that in mind if you read further. But then again, others can speak for themselves. And for me, the whole story does have a happy ending, garnered on the day after OSONOS when those who are interested in developing the institutes convened for a day. OSONOS was a huge and at times for me, unbearable, learning experience. For me, by the end of Sunday (we had gathered for an hour or so on the Saturday eve, space was opened on the Sunday morning and closed on the Monday late pm) I was ready to leave, not sure if I would come to an OSONOS again. Please understand that I don't read what is happening only from an intellectual level as I go through life, but rather largely from an intuitive level. My intuition was saying that much was wrong and that it was not good for me to be there. Quite why, I didn't know, although some of that became clearer later. As we gathered on the Saturday, it felt good, greeting people I had met before at OSONOS, many of whom I consider dear friends from around the world. And greeting at least one person from the list who I had not met before (hello Roy!), and others who were new. I had known all day that Harrison would not be joining us, due to illness. Most people were informed of this in the opening of the evening. And were then reassured that we would all proceed, etc. So far, so good. And then I became distressed as a number of people quickly noted how happy they were that Harrison was not present because community could now be built, and people could develop themselves and their own style in Open Space. It was stated that with Harrison present, this could not happen. This was not necessarily the prevalent opinion, but it was stated so clearly so early in our time together. The Harrison that I know has never gotten in the way of people developing their own style or expression of self. He has supported so many of us in finding our wings. It does not mean that we have to agree with him. I know I argue hard with him, often. All part of the learning process together, including Harrison's own learning which he also is willing to do (I admit that sometimes this doesn't appear so because he can be very stubborn-but he is in good company in that regard).I was angry at these people.Some people were gentler, saying that we could build community more easily without Harrison there and wanting to acknowledge that "whoever was there was the right people". They may have been right. However, I thought we would be different than other communities, building well with the "guru" present, finding ways to include him "with us" as we continued the development of Open Space and our own development. Some people also expressed that they had attended only to meet Harrison and so they were disappointed. This latter at least acknowledged Harrison's contribution. In the morning on Sunday, the space was opened by a team of three. There were very different styles at work, and they didn't blend well. Each person did a good job with what he/she individually believed and practiced. There was a lot of learning for all involved. There was acknowledgement on other days that we were new at this, at doing this without Harrison and that we were making mistakes. There were also others who said "there are no mistakes". Some of the dilemma was that some of us believe (myself included) that Open Space works best kept simple and pretty pure (I am a purist). Others feel differently. I came away from this clear that team "space holders" need to do a lot of work beforehand to blend as a team, that people who team should have similar views of what Open Space is, and what it is not. For me, I think it unlikely that I will Open the Space in team with others. It just appears too hard. Too hard to centre oneself fully with the group. Each practitioner has his/her own view. The good news is that in the end the space does open and look after itself. And it did. I am just explaining my struggles and my learning. My next experience and the one that really devastated me was what happened after I posted the topic "Growing capacity as an Open Space facilitator". I was used to OSONOS being a place for deep discussions with people who had awareness of Open Space through their facilitation, their experience in Open Space, or at least having read at least one of the books. Of the 60 or so people at the event, almost half came to my session. And it soon became clear that the majority of the group had never even read a book about Open Space, experienced it in any way. They had just shown up to OSONOS and wanted to use it as an inexpensive way of getting OS training. If only a few had been amongst the group, it would have been okay. The problem was that it turned out that of the gathering, only 16 were people who had any previous real experience with Open Space. Which meant that we were overbalanced by those who were there wanting to learn quickly. The good news is that they were interested. The bad news for me was how this showed up in this particular session. One fellow will always stick in my mind. He wanted me to answer detailed "how to questions". I needed to keep stating that this was not the way to learn OS, that it was a practice that had both form and essence, and that I would do him and others a disservice to have them feel that getting their questions answered in this way would prepare him to do OS. He said that he was there to add OS as a tool that he could use in his consulting work. That I might not understand his need because he worked "in the business world". Anyhow, some of the new people got that this was a responsible practice and are now keen to go about learning by reading, training and so on. So all was not lost. This fellow and others though, never let up. They overpowered with their questions. When it was all over, he slammed his notebook shut and thanked me and those who had remained and said that he now had all his questions answered and that he could leave and do what he really wanted to do with his Sunday afternoon. I was stunned, and I do know that I could have somehow have handled things differently. I just didn't know how. I wanted to be sure the needs of those attending were met, and yet trying to do that conflicted with my values about OS. I wanted to run away and keep running. OSONOS had turned into a cheap and inadequate training ground. At least that's how I experienced it. It was never intended as a training ground, or else we would have done better at it. It was intended that practitioners could continue their learning together. And I guess we did at that! Just differently,and not pleasantly. In the morning on Monday, one of the newer people spoke up, saying that she felt something in the air, that she was not welcome, that OSONOS was not what she had expected it to be. I spoke up in answer, expressing my upset with the previous day, saying that I felt I could not and would not deliver what was being asked of me, and at the same time feeling frustrated about not making the newcomers welcome and if we had only known how many of them were present, we might have done things differently. Somewhere along the line, we discovered that what had happened was that immediately following OSONOS, Harrison was doing an Open Space training in the same hotel. Poor Linda, who was looking after the training, had received many, many calls about it. Many people who originally called about training chose to come to OSONOS instead deciding intentionally that they could achieve their training needs for the low cost of OSONOS rather than the higher cost of training. As a result, very few signed up for the training. This dynamic is what played out throughout OSONOS. No one's fault. It just was. We will pay more attention to the wording of the invitation in the future (I too am guilty of having looked this one over before it went out and didn't catch that it might lead us into this trouble). I think that many of the newcomers left OSONOS with a very bad experience of OS. They did not get what they thought they would get out of the event. As someone who has attended every OSONOS I ended this time not sure if I would ever frustrate myself like this again, feeling like I struggled the entire time to be true to what I believe Open Space is and to my values. For sure, this is not the whole story, but it is as much as I care to tell on the list. There were other and even more painful struggles.There also were some very special things happen that had to do with friendships, new and old. And the fact that we had representatives from six countries, four continents. So you've now heard more than enough from me about OSONOS. And certainly why I couldn't communicate sooner. And yet everything ended on a good note for me. I have sent that in a separate e-mail. Birgitt Bolton
