Julie, and all of this - this inspiration - this feeling of so much that you can hardly speak it is in the possibility of VOSonVOS. THAT is what we are creating it for - come join us. The time to begin is almost here.
Blessings, Toni Petrinovich ----- Original Message ----- From: "Julie Smith" <jsm...@mosquitonet.com> To: <osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu> Sent: Saturday, April 27, 2002 12:53 PM Subject: Becoming A Peacemaker Conference > Greetings ~ > > In so many ways, the Fairbanks Becoming A Peacemaker conference was > birthed from this list. For me, that has everything to do with the > quality of conversation that happens here. The conversations we had > following September 11, and the next series of conversations (the ones > that ended up in the user's non-guide) have had a dramatic impact on my > life. It's like this wave of OSLIST energy met up with me and blew me > (quite willingly) into a new relationship with my world. It somehow > resonates with what Peggy said: > > "An invocation connects the material world, the heart and the spirit. > We humans are a bridge for linking matter and spirit. An invocation > moves in, through and from us, making spirit matter. What is invoked > must ultimately be dispersed in order to serve. So opening an OS is an > invocation for spirit to move in, through and from us in service to a > higher purpose. Closing a space is a dispersion of that service into > the larger space of the world." > > I don't have the right language here, but I feel like somehow I was > breathed in here (and played for a time with you during that long > inhalation), and then exhaled (with many others) the Fairbanks Becoming > A Peacemaker conference. > > When Chris closed our final OS space last week, he asked us to stand and > turn our backs to the circle, reminded us that we were now each facing > Open Space, and invited us to enter that space knowing we had each other > behind us, supporting us along the way. That's exactly what the > Fairbanks conference felt like to me, like I had turned my back to this > OSLIST circle in order to give my attention and energy to the circle > that was emerging in my community, knowing that all of what I had > experienced here remained behind me and continued supporting me. > > All of that is a very long way of saying that I won't feel a sense of > completion until I come back to this place where it started for me, to > tell the story of what happened on my journey out of this circle and > into that other circle. > > Leaving the OSLIST circle started for me when I first began talking to > people in my community about creating an OST event in Fairbanks. I was > suddenly leaving the space of this secure group of people who have > developed a common understanding of this way of being in the world, and > entered into a much bigger and more complex world where this > understanding had not even been named, much less talked about or > explored. What I found was an initial healthy skepticism followed > rapidly by curiosity. During this period of curiosity I had many allies. > Some were trusted friends I knew would quickly come on board, some were > people in high places who surprised me by their immediate understanding, > and some were people I didn't even know who emerged through chance > connections and lent credibility to the idea. > > The turning point between curiosity and acceptance came in the telling > of the story of Michael and Judi and Chris. When I started describing > each of them to the group who would ultimately decide whether to take a > chance on the OST process, I began seeing smiles and sparkling eyes. > There was a shift in energy, a new feeling of possibility, a collective > sense that with their help, we could do it. There became this sense > that we could push the envelope without falling off a cliff, that with > these three on board, we would be safe enough to take this risk. The > group said Yes. > > Looking back, all of that was the easy part. The hardest part of the > journey for me was the theme and invitation. This was the part that > challenged me to take risks and grow in places that were still blocked. > Michael was a catalyst for me when after countless e-mails he asked me > to think about what I would want people to remember about me at my > funeral. Naming the conference Becoming A Peacemaker reflected a very > long personal affinity with peacemaking as well as acknowledgement of > recent world events. Naming the theme in this way was a risk for me > because people have always discouraged me from using the words peace and > peacemaking. When I used these words in the past, I usually ended up > feeling shut down, shut out, and misunderstood. The many conversations > about peace and peacemaking on this list gave me courage to name the > theme I have passion for. > > I'm not sure how the process of naming and describing felt to others who > were also responsible for the theme and invitation. It felt to me like > a long, intense, confusing, and convoluted process, all of which > reflected my fear of authentically expressing my self in my community. > My experience of that time was that everyone else ended up stepping away > from the question, and it became my choice. I had this feeling of the > universe opening up to me and saying "Okay, you asked for it, now what > will you do with it?" In that moment of truth, I was tempted to hold > back a little, to not ask the question my life was asking, to hide > behind what I thought others wanted. In the end, I stood up and asked > my question. That was a scary thing for me. > > Once that decision was finally made, the logistics fell together with > ease. The people who were needed were always there doing what needed to > be done. > > What happened next is hard for me to fully grasp. It feels more like > potency, like the ending of the inhalation just before the beginning of > the exhalation. The best I can do is describe what I experienced. > > Michael, Chris and Judi arrived in Fairbanks a day or two before the > conference. Finally meeting these three who I already held in such high > regard was a joy and delight. > > On the day before the conference we made our way to the civic center > where the conference would be held. The Alaskaland Civic Center is a > 3-story round building decorated on the outside with huge Yup'ik masks. > The building holds a theatre on one side and a meeting area on the > other. The meeting area is a half circle that rises three levels, with a > large central open area that reaches all three levels up to the wood > ceiling, and balconies on the upper two floors that are open to what is > above and below. The huge straight wall of the half-circle is a > beautiful mountain landscape painting. > > When we entered the civic center that day, there were stack and stacks > of chairs waiting for us on the perimeter of the circle. When we left, > there were over 220 chairs arranged in three concentric rings. Outside > the circle we constructed places for topics to be posted and additional > places to post the news of the day. Michael made posters of bumblebees > and butterflies, the four principles, the law of mobility, and a teaser > about surprise. Looking at the empty circle and all that surrounds it, > I felt my heart expand. Even thinking about it now, I have a sense of > power and potency, of goodness, of hope, of connection and community. > > I have a hard time talking about the conference itself. I have this > sense that more happened than I've allowed myself to bring to my > awareness. > > Judi opened the space, breathing, walking the circle, connecting with > us, helping us connect with each other. The chairs were filled with > over 100 middle school and high school students, and a roughly equal > number of adults. Almost before she had finished speaking, one of my > dearest friends was bounding out of his chair to grab a piece of paper > and a marker. He was followed in quick succession by a stream of youth > and adults. Then the topics started pouring in, tumbling one after the > other. People of all ages walked into the circle to name the topic they > had passion for. > > The rest is a blur...... circles of people finding each other and > talking, intense discussion, deep questions, affirmation, disagreement, > insight, acceptance, questions.... > > Of all of that, I've only been able to meaningfully grasp two > experiences. The first is Rosalie's gift. Judi has already described > how at the beginning of the second day, Rosalie announced that our time > together on the first day had changed her life, that she had experienced > peace in her family for the first time in a long time that morning. > When invited to explain what she meant by that in the closing circle, > she told the story of telling her mother she loved her, and how that had > changed everything for both of them. Rosalie's courage in creating her > story and then telling it is so simple and so profound. It is so close > to truth that I feel I could enter into that knowing and vulnerability > and find a lifetime of inspiration. > > The second event emerged completely outside my awareness. A seventh > grade student posted the topic "What can we do to stop people from > hurting themselves?" With the support of Judi and many others, Derek > ended up facilitating four sessions around this issue which culminated > in a suicide prevention plan at his school and other schools in our > area. In reviewing the notes, I found someone had asked "how do we > force adults and the schools to provide suicide prevention in the > schools?" That was a wake-up call for me. I had no idea that students > were seeking adult help on this issue. This marks the first time I felt > invited by students to participate with them about a concern they > identified. To have that happen over such a complex and serious issue > jolted me. We've already started moving forward in response to Derek's > invitation. > > Sometime soon perhaps I'll give myself time to breathe through and > experience what happened in a more complete way. For now, this is what > I've been able to comprehend. > > Already people around here are talking about what comes next.... school > principals talking about holding in-services in open space, teachers > talking about how to use OST in classrooms, discussions about how we can > use OST to converse about complex community issues, thinking about our > second annual conference to be held in open space..... > > And yesterday I learned that Dan and Mia and others are starting to talk > about the possibility of other communities holding a Becoming A > Peacemaker conference next September 11, to be held in OST. And now > we're thinking about what that might look like if we did it statewide, > with proceedings pouring in from all over the state and posted on a web > page..... and thinking that some of the 60 participants in our OST > practice workshop might be willing to help facilitate OST in communities > across the state.... > > Someday soon I'm going to sit with all of this in gratitude and awe, and > then maybe I'll be able to complete this very long exhalation. Oh, what > wonders I look forward to with the inhalation that is sure to follow. > > Much love to all, > > Julie > > * > * > ========================================================== > osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu > ------------------------------ > To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, > view the archives of osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu, > Visit: > > http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html > * * ========================================================== osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu ------------------------------ To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu, Visit: http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html
