Julie, I conduct workshops that center on living in the Heart. We do much work similar to mediation during the workshops yet we do it with each other and I keep bringing the participants back to the heart. We do it with exercises that mirror everyday life and allow them to see how to work from the heart in a variety of circumstances. This "teaching" has been invaluable for them in many different venues.
Perhaps teaching mediation in a heart-centered way allows people to have a rule of thumb to go by - since if it is not coming from the heart (soul) of the being, it is not coming at all. Love and blessings, Toni Sar'h www.sacredspaceswa.com ----- Original Message ----- From: "Julie Smith" <[email protected]> To: <[email protected]> Sent: Wednesday, September 04, 2002 7:31 PM Subject: Re: The magic that happens... > Oh dear..... trying to explain the mediation process is a lot like > trying to explain the OST process..... the words never seem to quite > convey the experience..... but since you asked, Romy, I'll give it a > try..... > > A mediator is a person who attempts to help people resolve conflict. > Mediators are neutral, have no interest in the outcome of the dispute, > and have no authority to make any decisions for the participants. The > mediation process usually consists of these stages: > > 1. Beginning (Opening) > > 2. Middle (Story-Telling) > > 3. Middle (Creative Problem-Solving) > > 4. End (Closing) > > The opening and closing are roughly equivalent to the same stages in the > OST process, and meet some of the same needs. They're a bit more > structured, however. The opening includes a conversation about the role > of the mediator, confidentiality, and other details. It ends with the > participants signing an Agreement to Mediate. The ending sometimes > includes a formal written agreement between the parties. > > The middle part begins with story-telling. Over time the story-telling > begins to include ideas about solving the problem. Many people rush to > try to solve a problem before fully hearing or understanding each > other's stories, however, so the mediator might actively slow things > down by asking questions to help flesh out the stories. Over time, > story-telling and problem-solving weave back and forth as understandings > merge and ideas emerge. If there are multiple issues, the mediator > might also help the participants decide how they want to structure their > conversation, and might check in to see if they want to return to their > agenda if they begin straying to other issues and topics. > > At a deeper level, I think the primary role of the mediator is to > provide emotional safety for the participants. When the dialogue > between the participants is constructive, the mediator usually stays out > of their way. If it becomes destructive, the mediator usually becomes > more active. In these situations, the mediator might slow things down > again by summarizing the various points of view, asking questions to > help clarify issues that may still be misunderstood, or reframing toxic > language into non-toxic language. > > All of that is how mediation feels to me in practice. I'm still not > sure how to best convey any of that to students, or how to help them > find their own sense of how to help themselves and others through > difficult conflicts. The training manuals I have are filled with steps > and stages, activities and discussion topics. None of it resonates much > with me anymore. What's a person to do? > > .....okay, now I get it..... maybe I'm trying to teach something that's > at a different level of consciousness than I'm reaching for. Or maybe > mediation itself isn't at that different level, but the way I'm trying > to teach it is. Hence the frustration. I think this fits with the > Wilber discussion, but I haven't read much of Wilber's stuff. Any help > or insights here would be most appreciated ~ > > Julie > > * > * > ========================================================== > [email protected] > ------------------------------ > To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, > view the archives of [email protected], > Visit: > > http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html > > * * ========================================================== [email protected] ------------------------------ To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of [email protected], Visit: http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html
