I would take it one step further and say that you should not just *accept* what happens, you should *appreciate* it.
I agree with you Alexander, I think that acceptance as you described it occurs largely within the head while appreciation definitely lives within the heart. ashley > [Original Message] > From: Alexander Kjerulf <[email protected]> > To: <[email protected]> > Date: 9/13/2003 4:09:46 AM > Subject: Re: Conversing about..."the right conditions" (fwd) > > I agree totally - acceptance of what happened is a pre-requisite for > learning from what happened. Actually I would take it one step further > and say that you should not just *accept* what happens, you should > *appreciate* it. To me acceptance means "yeah OK, I can live with that", > while appreciation means "I appreciate this happening right now, with > all the good AND bad implications". Does anybody else see this distinction? > > To take it one step further, acceptance seems to me to be a little more > passive whereas appreciating something is an active, conscious decision > to find the good in that thing. And to me at least, appreciating what > happens puts me in a learning mode. > > Marei's post cleared one more thing up for me, namely that my thinking > has been "Hey, if everyone just accepts whatever happens, nobody will > ever learn." But nobody reacts that way do they? We humans are learning > machines, we can't NOT learn. > > Cheers > > Alexander > > Marei Kiele wrote: > > > About letting go and getting things done, about accepting and learning > > and about past, future and Now - I've been thinking a lot these last > > two days. And Chris, Ted, Alexander, Lisa, Shay and Harrison - thank > > you so much for sharing, your thoughts have been extremely helpful to me. > > > > With accepting what happened I find myself doing better and better. > > But letting go plans and dreams and visions for the future - this > > seemed to be not only hard but not even desirable. > > > > And then today, just by the way, I recognized two voices in me (kind > > of arguing). And I want to ask if any of you knows these voices, too. > > One of them saying: If you are not heading for a better future and not > > working hard on it (not only for yourself but for others) - you are > > just not worth living the life you live (thanks Lisa for our > > conversation in Bramstrup). And I decided not to agree with that voice. > > > > And the other one was saying: If you don't concentrate on what you do > > and on what you're aiming for and work hard for it you will never > > reach anything. > > And suddenly I realized that this voice is a relative of those saying, > > open space will not work because we always need somebody being in > > charge and controlling the work. And I said no to that voice, too. > > > > The thought popped up in my mind that perhaps we don't have to plan > > and concentrate on learning. Maybe accepting and learning is just ONE > > thing - not two different. Maybe when I am open and live with an > > expanded Now my learning happens by the way. > > For example I remember learning English: In which situation my > > learning is more fun and even more sucessful? If I concentrate on my > > mistakes and on what vocabulary I should use next time? Or if I > > just talk and am open to the impressions around me? I do remember my > > English beeing most fluent when I am authentic, not controlling > > myself, not controlling the outcome. If I just DO (as Chris sujested) > > and go step by step - suddenly I've got things done. > > > > One of the sentences I love in Expanding Our Now is: Somewhere > > along the line we came up with the absurd notion that if everybody did > > just what they wanted to, nothing would get done. (S.33). > > Referring to this I wish to say: Somewhere along the line we came up > > with the absurd notion that if we accepted what happened, we would > > never learn. > > > > But we do - and better than ever, don't we? > > > > Marei > > > > * * ========================================================== > > [email protected] ------------------------------ To > > subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of > > [email protected], Visit: > > > > http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html > > > > -- > Alexander Kjerulf > www.kjerulf.com > [email protected] > Tagensvej 126, lejl. 102 > 2200 København N. > +45 2688 2373 > > Trænger du til noget arbejdsglæde? Kender du nogen som gør? > www.projektarbejdsglaede.dk > > * > * > ========================================================== > [email protected] > ------------------------------ > To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, > view the archives of [email protected], > Visit: > > http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html * * ========================================================== [email protected] ------------------------------ To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of [email protected], Visit: http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html
