Gotta love the onion.

ELLICOTT CITY, MD–An estimated 300 naked women, including actresses  
Pamela Anderson and Shannon Elizabeth, are feared lost as the result  
of a tragic computer crash Monday. "One minute, they were there, and  
the next, they were gone," said a visibly shaken Jonathan Blauvelt,  
33, the Ellicott City resident whose Power Mac G4 was the site of the  
disaster. "To lose so many young girls in the blink of an eye like  
that, it's hard to comprehend. Angelina Jolie, Anna Kournikova, the  
chick from Species–it's just too much to bear." As data-recovery  
workers comb through the hard drive for signs of ass, Blauvelt is  
asking well-wishers to pray for the naked ladies' safe return.


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