I have heard some good points. �My Mom is the one making noise, so I think I tend to see her point of view more easily. �Someone called my dad an academic, and true he really does take on hard leisure reading. �He has read a lot of Shelby Foote, Paul Johnson, stuff about the Middle East - something called Beiruit to Jerusalem, and lots of other hard stuff that I don't tackle - we are all readers, but I stick with easy stuff like Jan Karon, Jon Hassler, John Grisham, and The Hobbit. �And, as I said he watches the History channel - too highbrow for me. �
����My dad retired in 1991. �For several years he had a busy consulting business. �He drove my Mom crazy during that phase by expecting her to assume a roll as his secretary and flunkie - copying, faxing, proofing, taking stuff to Kinkos, plus he would spread through the house covering more and more horizontal surfaces with current and future projects. �I Mostly took his side at that time until he came to stay with me for a month. �He would get up early each morning with a list of people for me to call, things to fax, things to type, �things to look up on the internet. �I thought it should be the other way - since my husband and I are tied down with "real jobs" I wanted my Dad to go to Jackson - ( the nearest city, an hour away,) and look around for a good deal on a used Toyota for us - I was willing to give him full decision making power and had 10 K in a checking account. �So we banged heads a little during that month - I wanted to keep him busy with my projects, he thought I should be happy to �Go - Fer for him if he was keeping busy with his own projects. �Now, thinking of that, maybe my Mom's refusing to be his secretary is part of the reason for his inactivity. �
���But anyway, there have been several health problems through the years - my Dad had Bell's Palsy and a colon cancer in 94 and 95, my Granny had a CVA in 97, a broken shoulder in 98, My Mom had a surgery on her retina in 2001 that required her to lie face down for six weeks. �
�����And between us kids we have had babies in 94, 95 ,96, two in 1999, and two in 2001. �My parents have gone to help for each baby, traveling to Mississippi for me, to Denver and Fairfax for my brother and sister.
�����Gradually through the course of those events, the consulting business has dried up. �And my Dad could not handle it physically now anyway. �He has hammer toes, gets SOB easily, and just kind of looks old. �
������But he could do more than he does. �And he does look sad sometimes. �It can be such an effort for him to make conversation for 15 minutes with family or close friends. �If my mom has us for a meal, he will sit at the table, my husband is good at talking with him about stuff he is interested in, we eat, he speaks to the children, then he starts to look tired and miserable, my Mom says, "You can go lie down" he looks relieved, goes back in their bedroom and watches the history channel or reads hard stuff. �He can stay with a roomful of us maybe 30 minutes. -- Jody
