My compliments to you on your honesty and articulate response to a very
pressing issue. 
We have much to learn from those who are with the dying, don't we.
Trish.
At 07:24 PM 8/21/99 +1000, you wrote:
>
>Hurrah!  regards, Mary Murphy.
>----- Original Message -----
>From: h&m <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>To: Ozmidwifery <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>Sent: Saturday, August 21, 1999 12:47 PM
>Subject: life!
>
>
>> Dear colleagues
>>
>> I have just ploughed through forty emails and a wealth of discussion and
>> wisdom. I want to make some fairly fragmented points. On Wednesday
>> morning at 4am my mother in law died in our home. After three months of
>> Acute Leukaemia she achieved in death what she had never achieved in
>> life-power. She made her desires to die at home known to us early on and
>> we respected that wish. She was surrounded by her family, her garden,
>> and her dignity was maintained to the end. I am reminded of a poem I saw
>> on a memorial in the Bavarian forest years ago that said 'we are such
>> stuff that dreams are made of and our lives are rounded with a little
>> sleep.' It was such a peaceful sleepy death. As the warmth left her body
>> we played music and sat around her bed. A short while later we went out
>> to watch the sun rise and gaze at the fading stars. There was
>> extraordinary peace and beauty in those moments we spent accepting her
>> passing. I was confronted by the reality of how different her death
>> would have been in hospital.
>>
>> Our medicalisation of birth and death have given our lives a taste of
>> fear when we should be experiencing our most treasured and real moments.
>> >From our beginnings to our endings we have learnt to fear life and
>> struggle against its simplicity and inevitability. So much energy
>> wasted, so many valuable moments lost.
>>
>> As midwives when we stand watching over birth, protecting the mother's
>> wishes, facilitating the power of women, we achieve our greatest
>> moments. The more we see the power and potential of women realised the
>> less we are really needed and the better the experience is. I warned you
>> this was fragmented! It is women that have taught us the skills we have
>> today as midwives. So why do we have this fear or resistance to their
>> participation in our professional body? Once again we fear. We fear what
>> may happen, and how it may not work, and what if, and have we thought
>> about that, and we do just what we do every day to birth a death, we
>> control, restrain and never experience the possibilities awaiting us. If
>> we are frightened of having women have a say in our professional issues
>> then I think we should re-examine what being a midwife is. Is it is not
>> with women? I also think we should ask ourselves have we really got
>> anything to lose. We have not got a spectacular thing happening here
>> with midwifery in our country. While we think of all the what if's
>> regarding women in our professional body let us ask have we really got
>> that much to lose. I don't think so. We have been chasing our tails for
>> years now with rhetoric and committees and working parties and more
>> rhetoric and committees and working parties and I think we have been too
>> safe for too long. We can keep going in circles or we can take a risk
>> and see if all of the rhetoric, committees and working parties have any
>> basis.
>>
>> Having recently seen the power of consumers as we (NSWMA) lobby for
>> rebates for midwifery care I am even more convinced we need to work with
>> women. Yes, there will be problems and yes, it won't be easy but we
>> don't exactly have Utopia now so what have we to lose. We need to answer
>> all the questions that have been posed on the list and we need the
>> doubting Thomas's to help us deal with the practical details but let's
>> deal with them and let us move on. I for one think life is to short and
>> I'm simply dizzy from all this circular action. The NSWMA voted on
>> pursing the matter of consumers being involved in the association as a
>> matter of urgency at our recent AGM. It's time to get a move on. Let's
>> stop fearing all the possibilities! There are thousands of those and
>> most are imaginary. Perhaps what we really fear is it might work and the
>> old toothless lion will awake with a roaring powerful reality. Women and
>> midwives power in partnership! Is this simply rhetoric to make IMD
>> balloons look pretty or is it a belief????
>>
>> Hannah
>>
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