why not LISTEN!

[Dean & Jo Bainbridge]

I have just read Rhonda's very emotive post and my heart goes out to her.  I am unaware of her circumstances, but can relate to the frustration she feels with being 'fobbed off' and not getting a satisfactory explanation.  What amazes me about the insurance problem is the fact that it is so dam hard to get answers from medicos and hospitals even with the courts involvement.     In most cases a simple acknowledgment of being done 'wrong' would usually be enough for those of us seeking a simple apology for how we were treated.  But a 'sorry' is considered an admittance of 'guilt' thus leaving those apologising liable.  What is the woman, who feels so strongly about gaining some acknowledgement, left to do? Pursue legal action..thus adding to the litigation expense.   I would like to see a method for women to be able to address those responsible in a non-legal forum to be able to air grievances.  To be able to say "You did me wrong.  You treated me like a s**t.  You abused me!  I want to know why you did that!"  etc (basically say "NOT HAPPY JAN!") is something that we should have the right to say.   Perhaps then a record of how many informal complaints are made about certain people or policies/procedures.  That way the hospital could evaluate those whose names keep cropping up.  Question why a doctor says/does something.  A hospital I heard of started auditing caesarean reasons and the cs rate dropped majorally!!     Arrogance of medicos is their greatest downfall. Doctors (and some midwives) HAVE to understand that they may be highly skilled but if you can not treat someone with respect then perhaps they should take a serious look at what they are doing.  You  can NOT work with people if you are going to treat them like shit or feel intimidated by them for having an informed differing opinion.   I have tried talking about this with some of the local Ob's...some just cant understand.  I have told them that if they were to go to a restaurant and have a great meal, wonderful surroundings...but a really rude waiter....what is it that they will remember about the meal?  Yep! "That arrogant SOB of a waiter.  Where is your manager?  I want to complain!!!"  They seem to grasp that concept.   If the lawyers and the insurance companies would stop trying to profit from anyone and everyone, then perhaps 'consumer evaluations'  (that is us women who want to say how p**sed they are about how they were treated) could actually help keep the litigation thing under control.  Surely we can have a workable middle ground?   The courts will only have to deal with the catastrophic circumstances and the simple 'I want answers' will be dealt with else where, with those who have a vested interest, i.e. the hospital.  Thus leaving out the useless and uninterested committees such as the Health Services Commission. (Waste of money).   I had a doctor (not an Ob) treat me like crap when my son was sick and I was able to make a complaint to the hospital.  The doctor was removed from dealing with me and my son and another took over.  A senior staff member came to hear what I had to say, he apologised for how I was treated and then did some great 'damage control' by making me a coffe and sat listening to my story of how an Ob at the birth of my child was an arrogant SOB and I refused to be treated like that again.  He probably sat there nodding and perhaps he did not take anything I said seriously, but the fact that he listened and acknowledged that my treatment was inappropriate made me feel vindicated.  Crisis over.....simple as that.   What makes it so hard to do something to that effect?  Perhaps then people like Rhonda might find a way to address her circumstance and get answers without coping further insults, abuse and disrespect.   Perhaps I am just living in a dream world...... Jo CARES SA