Male's Perspective.

[Jackie Mawson]

Title: Male's Perspective.

Hi all,

I have just had this perspective on birth shared with me. It is to be placed on the Birthrites website, but I thought I would share it with you all first. If any of you have a male’s perspective on birth, or can nudge your partner into sharing his thoughts/feelings re birth, I’d love to receive their/your stories. Please don’t reproduce this one without the author’s permission. Take care all,
BB Jackie Mawson.
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Male's Perspective Needed on VBAC
From: Jackie Mawson <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>

Dear Jackie while this article is not specifically about VBAC the ideas
discussed may help prevent unnecessary C's from having to be undergone.
If you have any queries please don't hesitate to contact us.
Best wishes,
Rayner and Sachi Garner

FAILURE TO PROGRESS
When we conceived a daughter in 1980 we both wanted to have as natural
birth as possible. We had read Childbirth Without Fear by Dr. Grantly
Dick-Read and much of what he wrote seemed very sound to us. So we
prepared as thoroughly as we could.

Sachi's grandmother had delivered two children by herself while working
on a sugar plantation in Hawaii, so we had a precedent, and we read
whatever we could find, particularly on other cultures practices and
attitudes to birth. So we felt confident that we would be unlikely to
need specialised intervention and care. We also spent a great deal of
time throughout the pregnancy, ventilating our concerns and anxieties
about birth and our relationship.

As this was Sachi's first birth we decided to have a midwife although we
were tempted to go it alone. We found a very competent, kind and
attentive midwife and we were set. When Sachis's waters broke her
contractions came in very strong and powerful and we both felt that it
was only a short time before she would give birth. To our surprise as
soon as the midwife and two friends who were going to give support
arrived, everything stopped! Sachi's contractions ceased, and she had
lost her serene look and had become agitated and restless. When I looked
at her closely I could see that she was breathing rapidly, had dilated
pupils, and was starting to shiver. (Some of the classic symptoms of the
flight or fight syndrome).

So I sent our friends and the midwife out of the room to make tea, and
told them some issues had come up which we needed to deal with. Not to
worry about any noise that may be made. Then I encouraged Sachi to get
angry and she began to beat on pillows, kicked out with her legs and
screamed with rage. As soon as she stopped, as if on cue her
contractions restarted, and we called the midwife and friends back in.

(As flight is not an option, the mother will need to discharge the
Adrenaline with physical exertion. One of the best ways to trigger rage
is to get the birthing mother to crouch on the bed or floor on her hands
and knees, and start to roar like a lion from a deep a place in her
belly as she can. For some reason this seems to release hidden rage.
Then if she is encouraged to beat on pillows or a mattress this will
discharge the adrenaline, and contractions will then resume without
extreme pain.)

It was the most amazing, and moving experience of my life to be there,
kneeling on the bed with cupped hands ready to receive Fonda. Sachi was
squatting with our friends behind her partly supporting her, relaxed and
in control, when Fonda's head emerged. Fonda opened her eyes, (our only
light source were candles,) and I became totally lost in those deep
brown eyes that seemed to be so full of old wisdom and love. Then with a
slight wiggle the rest of her emerged and I placed her lovingly on
Sachi's breast.

After the birth was over we got to thinking, why was the flight or fight
reaction stimulated? Then we realised that although the midwife was very
warm and loving we didn't really know her. Unconsciously Sachi may have
felt a threat to her survival and reacted accordingly. That in spite of
her preparations, classes in prenatal yoga, relaxation classes and her
conscious knowledge of how kind and loving her midwife was, her
primitive self had automatically reacted and closed down.

All species are equipped with this flight or fight mechanism in order to
get away or fight off any predator that interrupts, or invades the
birthing environment. We obviously posses this same primitive response
judging by the number of births which I have attended where this same
phenomenon occurred, the reports that I have read, or heard about
since our birth; of failure to progress, or a birthing mother arriving
at a hospital only to find her contractions stopped and her cervix
ceasing to dilate. On being sent home, contractions will often restart
and sometimes birth will take place in the car or ambulance on the way
back to the hospital.

I think that the power of this unconscious mechanism has been
underestimated. Many parents that I have talked to have been
disappointed and sometimes felt wanting, that in spite of all their
preparations, Bradley and Lamaze classes, etc., their birth was very
painful and distressing. That in many cases medical intervention became
necessary because of the threat of foetal distress.

There are cultures that only employ midwives who have been lived in
close proximity with the birthing mother all her life or close relatives
who will not arouse that unconscious reaction. In such cultures labour
often takes minutes once the water bag has broken, and discomfort is
minimal. (I suspect that if there are unexpressed antagonisms, and
hostilities present between caregiver and birthing mother this may still
create tension, and delay birth no matter how accustomed to each other
they may be.)

Dr. Grantly Dick-Read writes: Fear is the natural protective emotion
without which few of us would remain alive for many days. Its intensity
varies from precaution and doubt to uncontrollable terror. Even mild
anxiety can make a woman tense, thus causing the circular muscles to
resist the expulsive muscles of the uterus. A tense woman has a tense
outlet to the uterus, giving rise to the saying "Tense woman - tense
cervix." A tense cervix means a long and painful labour in the majority
of cases, for the mother is closing the door against the progress of her
baby from the uterus.

For some time now I have been suggesting to physicians, midwives, and
doulas, that greater awareness is directed at diagnosing the arousal
syndrome and taking steps to help the birthing mother to discharge the
adrenaline which is in her bloodstream, before using pharmaceuticals to
mask the pain.

An alternative would be for private birthing rooms to be equipped with a
video camera, and a two way wireless, and the birth monitored by health
professionals in an adjoining room or central viewing station. Part of
the prenatal caring would be to instruct the mother to be and her
companion in the simple practice of an uncomplicated birth. Without
comparative strangers present the flight or fight reaction may not be
stimulated. If complications arise, qualified help is immediately on
hand, and the safety and comfort of the two most important people, the
mother and child, would be assured.

Rayner Garner