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Hi everyone,
I must admit that after reading Pinky's last
posting I checked out the web site she spoke of. It is scary to read but I
am talking from the position of mother of three. With my first I had no
idea, no direction and no constructive help. These sorts of books were
being thrust at me and I found it heart breaking to feel that this was the way
we were meant to raise our children. I did not know how to get my baby to
sleep 'properly and was grappling with sleep deprivation and an extended
physical recovery after cs. I tried doing controlled crying and sat many a
night with tears pouring down my face listening to my infant son screaming for
comfort...he had been 'hugged' by me for 9 months and now left
alone.
What I didn't know was that all babies are
individuals and this is so from birth to death. I get very angry at the
people who give such advice to new mothers and put pressure on them to achieve a
'normality' with very strict methods. When it fails (as it often does) the
mother is left feeling more desperate than before...welcome PPD!
It is hard for new mums who don't have support
networks. It is usually the second and third child that we start taking
'chill pills' (no I am not referring to Zoloft!) and let go of the tight grip on
what 'should' be done. I have me baby sleep with me and hug him all night,
he sleeps all night...far cry from what I made my first go through.
it is the same with what we are all about with
birth. It is through support, education, respect and experience that we as
women overcome the (impossible) demands and expectations that this society
enforces on us. The society we live in is FAR from pregnancy, birth and
baby friendly....no matter what Johnny Howard says!
Okay...this is Jo exiting stage right off her soap
box!!
cheers everyone
Jo Bainbridge
founding member CARES SA email: [EMAIL PROTECTED] phone: 08 8365 7059 birth with trust, faith & love... |
