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Hi Karen
I would love to know of any support for this
-I have 5 kids and a hubby who has been treated for major depression since last
sept, with no signs of an imminent return to work.
I am not personally depressed (in fact I
am elated -my next book is "in the can" - 100 Ways to Calm the Crying" and
Sheila Kitzinger has written a glowing foreword)-I tend to throw myself into my
work , mostly at night, very late
stressed/ frustrated/ grief stricken (plain
old p' ed off) could be a good description some days though.
Perhaps I am reasonably "lucky" -I have lived with
family members with mental illness since I was a child so have no "expectations"
- there is no worse emotion than disappointment.
There really is bugger all help or support
and because depression is such an awfully invisible illness it is really a
disenfranchised grief -that you have 'lost' the partner/ person/ lifestyle
(financially and socially) that you used to have. It is hard on every family
member -kids lives change enormously and often they act out just when you
are at the end of your own reserves.
There are organisations such as ARAFEMI - but
unless you can "get in there" for counselling there isnt much support -in crisis
you often cant leave the sick person and because you are the family "glue" you
dont have time for such luxuries.
When my own husband was critical I called many
services for counselling - just so I had somewhere to vent and wouldnt let my
tension build up, and also for counselling for my youngest child (not many 9
year olds have seen 3 dead people -we had 3 deaths of (my) close family members
within 3 months as well as a sick husband)
Everywhere has at least a three month waiting
list - talk about needing to complain about health services!!
Online there is a US site I have linked to on
my website - they offer online counselling - www.mentalhealth.com
This isnt the same as a chat site but they may have
links -I havent had time to chat and -I dont want to "wallow in it" and
have pretty much given up hoping to be "understood" - I am too busy trying to be
the "bread winner".
If you are asking this for a friend
-practical help (a meal or some ironing/ an invitation for one of the kids to go
out/play/ get away from the 'sadness" ) is the greatest gift you could give -
there are no cards or casseroles for mental illness, and even family members
stay away possibly because they dont know how to talk to the sick person - if it
is for yourself, Hang in there - it doesnt necessarily get better soon. Be as
kind to yourself as you are to your kids and partner, and allow yourself to
consciously mourn your losses and talk openly -this is the only way we will ever
remove the stigma.
I am happy for a thread to start on my site if
there is nothing else -it would be interesting to see how much support is out
there -after all depression is a damn common illness.
Pinky
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- Support sites Karen Arthur
- Re: Support sites Pinky McKay
- Re: Support sites Jen Semple
