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And of course - the last one was the best!
Rhonda
- Do not walk behind me, for I may not
lead. Do not walk ahead of me,
for I may not follow. Don't walk beside
me, either. Just leave me alone.
- There are two theories to arguing with
women. Neither one works...
- It's always darkest before dawn. So if
you're going to steal your
neighbour's newspaper, that's the time to
do it.
- Sex is like air. It's not important
unless you aren't getting any.
- Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be
replaced, you can't be
promoted.
- No one is listening until you
fart.
- Always remember you're unique. Just like
everyone else.
- Never test the depth of the water with
both feet.
- It may be that your sole purpose in life
is simply to serve as
warning to others.
- It is far more impressive when others
discover your good qualities
without your help.
- If you think nobody cares if you're
alive, try missing a couple of
car re-payments.
- Before you criticize someone, you should
walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're
a mile away and you have
their shoes.
- If at first you don't succeed, skydiving
is not for you.
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a
day. Teach him how to fish,
and he will sit in a boat & drink
beer all day.
- If you lend someone $20 and never see
that person again, it was
probably worth it.
- Don't squat with your spurs on.
- If you tell the truth, you don't have to
remember anything.
- If you drink, don't park; accidents cause
people.
- Some days you are the bug, some days you
are the windshield.
- Don't worry, it only seems kinky the
first time.
- Good judgment comes from bad experience,
and a lot of that comes from
bad judgment.
- The quickest way to double your money is
to fold it in half and put
it back in your pocket.
- Timing has an awful lot to do with the
outcome of a rain dance.
- A closed mouth gathers no foot.
- Duct tape is like the Force. It has a
light side & a dark side, and
it holds the universe
together.
- The journey of a thousand miles begins
with a broken fan belt and a
leaky tire.
- Generally speaking, you aren't learning
much when your mouth is
moving.
- Experience is something you don't get
until just after you need
it.
- Never miss a good chance to shut
up.
- We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then
things get worse.
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