Dear 'Worried Mum',
I am a midwife and I, too, had a 3rd degree tear with the birth of my first child. I
had him in a birth centre and was also happy with my birth experience. He was 4.3 kg.
My 2nd child was born in the small maternity unit in which I now work. My sister
'caught' my daughter. She was 4.5 kg and I had an intact perineum - no tears at all.
Over the years, I have also cared for a number of women who have had 3rd degree tears
with previous births. I have never seen any of them have repeat 3rd degree tears.
I think there are a number of factors that contribute to a 3rd degree tear.
For me there was a big psychological component.
I think it's important to trust your instincts, and I also think you need to be able
to trust your midwife or obstetrician. You need to feel that they respect you and
your wishes. It doesn't sound like that's the way it is at the moment ("it was me
against four of them").
I hope this helps.
Jacky Eales
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