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Subject: Fwd: Fw: birth tableau
I just had to send this one on.
Betsy, a grammar-school teacher from Miami, remembers this Oscar-worthy
birth tableau from one of her students...
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself,
but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade
classroom a few years back
. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few
sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and experience
a little public speaking. And it gives me a break and some guaranteed
entertainment.
Usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, Model
airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never,
Ever place any boundaries or limitations on them.
If they want to lug it To school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica - a very bright, very out-going
kid - takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a
pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant.
"This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his
birthday.
First, Mommy and Daddy made him as a symbol of their love, and then
Daddy put a seed in my mother's stomach, and Luke grew in there.
He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."
She's standing there with her hands on the pillow,
and I'm trying not To laugh and wishing I had a video camera rolling.
The kids are watching Her in amazement.
"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my mother starts going, 'Oh, oh, oh!
'" Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked around the
House for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'"
Now the kids' are all doing this hysterical duck-walk, holding their
back and groaning.
"My father called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't
have a sign on the car like the Domino's man.
They got my mother to lie down in bed like this." Erica lies down with
her back against the wall. "And then, pop!
My mother had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got
thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like
psshhheew!"
This kid has her legs spread and with her little hands is miming water
flowing way.
It was too much!
"Then the middle wife starts going "push, push, and breathe, breathe."
They start counting, but they never even got past ten.
Then - all of a sudden - out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky
stuff they said was from the play-center, so there must be a lot of
stuff inside there."
Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
I'm sure I applauded the loudest.
Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder - just
in case another Erica comes along. |
