Penny: I think there is alot to this. I vividly remember the first time I felt it I was a doula for a woman who was attempting and succeeded in having a vbac in a hospital in California. I left the hospital feeling totally confused, disorientated, questioning my belief in normal, natural birth, my advocacy for the woman, just everything. You see the woman had become suspicious of her midwife's confidence in her to birth vaginally and was fearful of ending up with a second caesar and so she hired me as her support person in the last 2 weeks of her pregnancy. When I met the woman with an amazingly powerful voice over the phone I must admit to having some doubts myself, she stood barely over 5 feet and weighed 88lb, I gave her a clothed massage and was aware their really wasn't much body fat. I did ask a lot of questions about diet etc. and it really did seem like all was normal no hidden eating disorders etc.. and there weren't. However, I think her midwife had some doubts (CNM with hospital privileges) that a vaginal birth was going to happen. my client was amazingly stoic and resourceful in labour, she was 8cm when we went to the hospital, had her admission ctg done standing beside the beed, she just never got in the bed and got to fully on the toilet. However, that is when overmanagement took over. The midwife and her back-up OB had never expected a vaginal birth. My client got to fully and stopped contracting regularly, she needed to rest, she wanted to rest, there was no fetal distress (baby was wearing a scalp electrode by this stage, but mum was off the bed on all fours), the midwife stated that the labour needed to be augmented and that the baby needed to be born in the next hour or anotherc/s would happen. She also wanted an epidural on baord in case a vacum/forceps was needed. All of a sudden there was intense pressure on us all to conform, I was pressured, her husband was pressured, we were told that she was not making progress with her pushes which were now on the bed, knees up on hips. well, finally she said ok go ahead, so she had the IV oxytocic, the epidural, a vacumm assited birth a lovely 8.5lb baby girl with apgars 8 and 9, placenta delivered, and then she collapsed 15 minutes after the birth. Blood poured from her vagina, she had extensive cervical lacerations, she was given 4 units of packed red cells and I can't remember what else, apparently her platelets were way down, she survived, most probably one of the few people to survive DIC (it was only a probable diagnosis), she was 3 days in intensive care but fully conscious and pumping her breasts the whole time, discharged on day 4 fully breastfeeding. Thankful she had a vaginal birth. I was traumatised beyond belief. I talked to the midwife later, who was critical of me encouraging her high risk client to have a normal vaginal birth. When I asked her straight up if she thought a caesar would have been more appropriate for this woman she admitted that before the birth she would have thought so, however with hind sight she thought they would have lost her on the table if she had had a caesar. Despite this she hadn't taken blood since her 28 week visit. The ob was not impressed when he asked during the PPH what and when her last bloods were done. It still freaks me out when I think of it. I also have guilt regarding not standing up to the ob and midwife when my client was exhausted in second stage. Scared that if we had stood firm and the PPH had happened after the normal birth too, then we would have been blamed. There are just some things you never know. Fortunately I went to 2 very normal homebirths immediately after this birth, so I got right back into it.
marilyn ----- Original Message ----- From: "Dr Penelope A Barrett" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: "Ozmidwifery" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Thursday, November 07, 2002 3:15 PM Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] hurtful birth experiences > I wonder how many midwives have also felt violated and traumatised (but not > been able to find expression) for having to partake in care of women in > hospital that has trauma as part of it - as a witness? I'm reflecting on > some really bad vibes I can remember and the (?) shame/guilt/shock (?) at > having to be witness to some of this and yet not in control of the person > who is perpetuating it. I'll have to give this some thought - it is really > disturbing me - may be an explanation for some tensions I carry. > > PennyB. > > On 7/11/02 7:21 PM, "Margie Perkins" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > > My heart goes out to everyone who is sharing or has had soul and body hurting > > births. It is not ok. And must change. I have had the honour of supporting a > > number of women who have previously been traumatised by caesareans (or other > > things) and it is something so special to be part of their new journey. > > > > love and the greatest respect to you all. > > > > -- > This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. > Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe. -- This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe.
