Cas,

Thank you for sharing your birth story with us all, and I am sorry that the experience 
caused you so much anguish.  Yes, things can be different and it is great to hear of 
everything you are doing to make it so, this time, in your planning and preparation 
for your April baby. Birthtalk sounds like an incredibly positive group. I am sorry, 
too, for your husband's distress and fear. A men's BIrthtalk would be great wouldn't 
it?

May your own inner strength, determination and careful planning bring you the birth of 
your dreams.  

I have supported a number of women having VBACS and it has been a great honour and 
great learning for me as each woman finds her own  way - taking into consideration all 
the factors of her life.
I'll share my friend's story because she was such an inspiration to me - and  sharing 
her story has been an inspiration to others too. 

My friend had a traumatic (non) emergency caesar first time and severe PND for the 
year afterwards. When she got pregnant again - unplanned - she decided to see it as an 
opportunity to somehow make amends to herself and her first son although she was shit 
scared. She went initially to the same hospital but freaked just going there- but 
while waiting she 'found'  a caesarean support group leaflet and she got in touch. She 
'found' an independent midwife - to go to hospital with her.  She started thinking 
homebirth but her husband was dead against it because he was so frightened and 
traumatised. But he saw her need too and eventually said  that he could see it was HER 
best. She 'found' me as extra support and other backup support if necessary. They 
hoped he might become less fearful so he could be a strength for her but if not, they 
decided  that he would not be around for the intensity of labour because he was too 
frightened and she was determined that she not have to face his f!
!
ear. He was to look after  their child away from the birth setting.  As it turned out 
the labour got underway strongly as soon as the little boy was in bed and asleep. The 
partner disappeared to his room when he got uncomfortable with the labour progress - 
going beautifully and strongly.  And he came out of the bedroom to welcome his new son 
as soon as he was born.  

best wishes, Cas

Margie

  



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