Dear Sue, I think I understand your feelings trough and through. I worked in a hospital for 20 years . They kicked me out because I was always fighting for the parents, to keep medicalisation off and to get some of a breastfeeding management. Then I started as independent midwife and the first years I continued fighting the rules in the hospitals I met. It caused me a lot of pain and struggle and periods of disencouragement. The looks, the comments, the gossips behind my back, I know it all. I got out of energy and thought about quitting my midwifery. Last year I learned to let it go. People know I will not go with them to the hospital. It was a large step for me, because I want to be with them all the way, but I had to survive myself. I will do my homebirths and I am happy with every birth that goes how the parents intend it to be.
We have a duty to ourself to, to survive as a midwife and as a human. We are not superwoman. It will be a pity when you leave the list, just when you need so much the support of those who meet the same things. Maybe you can find a way yourself by sharing your grieves to live with the situation and to make something good of it. I wish you a lot of strength to live with things you can't change at the moment and be sure, you change things although you are not always aware of it, just by your way of thinking and being. Much love and support Lieve 05-01-2003 05:27, "Sue Cookson" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > Hi all, > Am writing my last missive to this list but would love some replies before I > sign off. > > I was in attendance at a Christmas day birth. > 41 week 34 year old primip, everything normal in pregnancy, but endured > severe pain in early labour and was unable to 'break through' this. So, 24 > hrs after SRM, and 12 hours of severe pain, 3 cms and needing help. Light > mec with some tachchardia. > Arrival at hospital at 7.30 am > First midwife (older and 'very experienced') declared baby to be either > breech or OP. Wee in this cup she demanded to a woman who was screaming in > pain. Lie here then and examined her through a contraction ...probably OP > ... > Next came the Resident who asked the woman how tall she was. 5'2" was the > reply - Well your husband had a big head so there is probably disproportion, > and baby will not fit through. > Our request was simply for an epidural for pain relief. Next doctor arrived, > the registrar who said " I will order an epidural, a syntocinon drip and > antibiotics" (the latter because she was prolonged rupture of membranes). > We just want pain relief was her answer - no to routine antibiotics and > routine synto. "So what are you going to do," he asked, "just lie about all > day?" > Next midwife on duty had been an independent midwife for 10 years. She > repeated the request about 10 times to have synto set up - this with a baby > whose heartrate was incredibly variable, and whose contractions had remained > very strong throughout. Fresh mec appeared on and off. > Catheterised with a bag against our request - we were happy for the catheter > to be inserted and removed, but not left in. "I can't take it out, says the > ex homebirth midwife, because I might need to catheterise you again." > To cut a long story short, all we asked for was 4 hours of pain relief > followed by a period of being active, maybe cutting down or out the > epidural, and assessing progress. Such a big request?? ( I had experienced a > similar situation only a few weeks before with a wonderful outcome of baby > being born vaginally and home 3 hours later - same hospital, next door room) > > The ex homebirth midwife said she had never seen anyone up and active with > an epidural in, and then said the woman failed the 'test'to be able to > manage that (left leg was pretty heavy). She could not take responsibility > for the woman to be active. > We negotiated our way through that ... ambulate at our own risk... > Hours later progress was negligible, so we asked for a few more hours, being > hassled the entire way about oxytocics. > So about 12 hours after admission there, we agreed to a c/section after no > progress. We negotiated a lotus birth and that was agreed to. > So baby born 8.30 pm Christmas Day by epidural c/section. > Apgars 9/9 but baby held at the resus table for 13 mins anyway - after being > told that if she was 'pink and screaming' she would go straight to mum. baby > then to mum for a brief 'look' then off to wherever. > > Told she was a little off colour - this followed by a decision to put babe > in special care for 4 hours for observation. Luckily lovely midwife had come > on duty and took baby out of special care and in to dad's arms until mum was > out of recovery and back in her room. Initially told dad could stay there > (single room) but when requested a mattress, told dad had to go home (45 > mins away) Lotus birth presented a major problem to the staff, who told mum > it put them at risk, and in fact wrapped placenta up in industrial waste > bag/ toxic waste plastic bag. > Second morning slight redness at umbilicus, with streaks up baby's tummy. > Baby whisked off to special care nursery and on IV antibiotics. NOTHING has > shown up on skin swabs and blood tests done at birth or since. Cord cut off > with midwives telling mother how dirty it was ... > > There are a lot of things I have not included here - the looks, the > inferences, the queries about who the support people were, the obs who came > in pointing at us asking our names, the sighs, the comments to the mother > about 'your type' (funny eh, this couple both work...) > > This woman was made to feel she could not achieve normal birth, her baby was > too big for her, her baby was in a bad position, her requests were > unreasonable, her decisions were from poor information, her lotus birth was > 'dirty' and a health hazard. > > She gave birth to a 7lb 5oz baby who was presenting OT. No obvious reasons > for failing to get past 4 cms. > > I am totally disheartened at how little movement the 'normal/natural' birth > movement has made in the medicalised system of childbirth in the last 22 > years. The midwives who took part in the birth were active participants in > the demoralisation and bullying of this woman and her partner and her > attendants. They collaborated to intimidate and pressure her into various > positions. There was no serving of this beautiful pregnant, labouring > mother, but only the intention to make her fit into a very narrow and closed > medical framework. > > I cannot and will not continue to support this method of childbirth in any > way. I hope that most people on this list do not work in this manner, but I > am also aware after being on this list for many years, that there are too > many midwives in Australia who DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY DO by behaving in > similar ways to the midwives I came into contact with over the last 96 > hours. > > I care totally for the emotional state of the women I see - the c/section in > this case was not a problem, but the narrow and judgemental attitude of far > too many of the people involved in this birth was an enormous problem. > > Well this is one birth attendant who is signing off, from the fight, from > the work, from the discussion. The birth scene has gone SO FAR away from > normal that it is really scary. > > Good luck to you all and good luck to all of you who think you can make a > difference. After Christmas Day I am damned sure no one person can stand > alone and make a difference for others. All one person does is put herself > at risk of ridicule and danger, irrespective of her heart's desire and > intentions. > > I know I have a good heart, I work so hard for all the pregnant women and > families I have served. > > I grieve for all the women who give birth in hospital with the type of > midwives I experienced recently. No wonder our children are being born with > high levels of syntocinon abuse, epidural damage leading to such increased > mevels of autism and ADD etc that our Australian society is experiencing. No > wonder our women have such high levels of PND. > > Disheartened, angry, and ashamed - the shame? Of the abuse, misinformation > bullying and lack of true care our 'system' can and does give out, all in > the name of midwifery and [medicalised] childbirth. > > > Sue Cookson > mother of 4 homeborn gorgeous children. > > > > > > > > -- > This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. > Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe. > -- This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe.
