Pete, that must have felt so awful for you as a new father - it must have
really hurt to feel so powerless and not be able to be the "protector"  -I
do think mothers go into a protective/ passive state in the early days -the
total focus is on the baby and any energy dealing with conflict feels
contrary to mothering. That good ol' prolactin seems to take away any
aggressive/ angry feelings maybe it is natures way of helping us nurture/
protect the baby.And usually there simply isnt any energy left over to do
anything beyond caring for ourselves and our infant.

And yes we do tend to "leave the birth behind" in an effort to forget
trauma -I have a dear friend who was robbed and bashed last week -CIB were
coming yesterday to do an identikit and she was terrified saying "I just
want to forget -I dont want to go back over it and see her face. I have been
trying to block it out because every time I shut my eyes I see her" (yes it
was a young woman who violated her) However,  some of us have recurring
nightmares/ dreams too -I did -of going back over and "having my baby
properly".

Pinky


----- Original Message -----
From: "Malavisi, Pete" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Friday, January 24, 2003 8:46 PM
Subject: RE: [ozmidwifery] Response to criticisms re-use of water during
labour/birth at RPA


>
>
> I would just like to pick up on a point that Hannah has made that the
> individual concerned directly must make the complaint, I do support this
but
> there are occasions when individual are affected by events but for
whatever
> reason fail to recognise the seriousness or potential seriousness of the
> situation.  I had the very unfortunate experience of having to hold my
> partner down on the operating table because the epidural wasn't working
and
> she felt all the pain from the caesar, for whatever reason (I believe
> personal protection) she failed to remember how bad it was, I was put in a
> very frustrating position of not wanting to see this to happen to anyone
> else so tried to pursue it but in effect nothing could be done unless my
> partner would lodge the complaint and basically she just wanted to put it
> all behind her.  I shudder to think that the same could happen to another
> woman.  We as midwives and support people act as advocates for many women
we
> care for but at the end of the day we seem powerless to change the system
or
> what is happening and I regret will continue to happen to far to many
women.
>
> yours in midwifery pete malavisi
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