----- Original Message ----- From: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Thursday, March 20, 2003 2:42 PM Subject: George Carlin's View on Ageing
> George Carlin's View on Ageing (be sure to read the tips on how to stay > young at the end!) > > Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is > when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about > aging that you think in fractions." How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" > You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! > That's the key. > > You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next > number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You > could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! > > And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words > sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21! YESSSS!!! > > But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad > milk. He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a > sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed? > > You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, > it's all slipping away. > > Before you know it, you REACH 50 . . . and your dreams are gone. > > But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! > > So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. You've built > up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you > HIT Wednesday! > > You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you > TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. > > And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I was > JUST 92." > > Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little > kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!" > > May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!! > > HOW TO STAY YOUNG > > 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let > the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her. > > 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. > > 3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, > whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." > And the devil's name is Alzheimer's. > > 4. Enjoy the simple things. > > 5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. > > 6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is > with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive. > > 7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, > keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge. > > 8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, > improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help. > > 9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a > foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is. > > 10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. > > AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: > > Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments > that take our breath away. > > > -- This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe.
