Hello Isis, long time no speak!  I've been off Ozmid during the semester while I've been swamped with uni.
 
I'm so sorry to hear about this... you sound understandably shaken to the core.
 
You are such a strong, intelligent woman (& it sounds like your pregnancy has gone so well up till now!), hang in there!!!  You've got people all around the country (? world) from this list sending you love & positive vibes.
 
I too wonder what access you have to midwives... did you end up having a BMid student with you for your pregnancy as part of the follow through journey?
 
I live in the Western suburbs of Melbourne now & would be happy to catch up for a chat or any kind of support that would help.
 
I'll email you my contact details privately.
 
Jen

Isis and Andrew Caple <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:

I apologize in advance for rehashing an old topic of discussion, but I need to get this off my chest.

 

I had a 36 week ANC appointment with one of the hospital OB�s yesterday and I left the appointment shaking with anger. I also left questioning my own wishes and plans. I was asked if I realized the risks of a VB due to my tear. I answered to the affirmative. I was asked if I truly appreciated the �great� possibilities of incontinence if I had a VB. I answered yes, but didn�t engage in a debate over the actual research done and what may cause the incontinence.. I was then asked how I felt in the event of a successful VB, with no tear, still meaning that 10-20-30-40 years down the track I would most likely still need a colostomy bag due to the ! damage to the perineal nerves/muscles- all linking back to my �ungiving� scar tissue and my adamant wish to have a VB. How does he expect me to feel, with this doom and gloom prediction being spouted in an extremely patronizing tone of voice?  He went on and on for about 6-7 minutes about how I must realize the risks that my choices could entail. I felt my face getting hot, I felt sweat beading on my upper lip, I started shaking. The only part of my wishes that he actually �approved� was the possibility of an episiotomy..  Then he started on my wish for a physiological 3rd stage- again predicting doom and gloom. His exact wording was �Sure it is great to have a natural delivery of the placenta, but you can also die naturally from massive blood loss. Did you know that a PPH can mean that blood is running with the speed of a household tap and before you know it you have lost 3000cc of blood?� I just nodded dumbly in shock and disbelief..

 

Today I doubt myself, my abilities, my wishes, my knowledge, my body. I feel physically sick, thinking of all the women who go to see a doctor and end up being scared into submission. No wonder the rates of intervention are so high, no wonder the concept of a normal, natural birth doesn�t actually mean what it sounds like..

 

I am scared of this birth, I am wavering in my resolve to not have a c-section just in case. I feel empty.



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