Isis and Andrew Caple <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
I apologize in advance for rehashing an old topic of discussion, but I need to get this off my chest.
I had a 36 week ANC appointment with one of the hospital OB�s yesterday and I left the appointment shaking with anger. I also left questioning my own wishes and plans. I was asked if I realized the risks of a VB due to my tear. I answered to the affirmative. I was asked if I truly appreciated the �great� possibilities of incontinence if I had a VB. I answered yes, but didn�t engage in a debate over the actual research done and what may cause the incontinence.. I was then asked how I felt in the event of a successful VB, with no tear, still meaning that 10-20-30-40 years down the track I would most likely still need a colostomy bag due to the ! damage to the perineal nerves/muscles- all linking back to my �ungiving� scar tissue and my adamant wish to have a VB. How does he expect me to feel, with this doom and gloom prediction being spouted in an extremely patronizing tone of voice? He went on and on for about 6-7 minutes about how I must realize the risks that my choices could entail. I felt my face getting hot, I felt sweat beading on my upper lip, I started shaking. The only part of my wishes that he actually �approved� was the possibility of an episiotomy.. Then he started on my wish for a physiological 3rd stage- again predicting doom and gloom. His exact wording was �Sure it is great to have a natural delivery of the placenta, but you can also die naturally from massive blood loss. Did you know that a PPH can mean that blood is running with the speed of a household tap and before you know it you have lost 3000cc of blood?� I just nodded dumbly in shock and disbelief..
Today I doubt myself, my abilities, my wishes, my knowledge, my body. I feel physically sick, thinking of all the women who go to see a doctor and end up being scared into submission. No wonder the rates of intervention are so high, no wonder the concept of a normal, natural birth doesn�t actually mean what it sounds like..
I am scared of this birth, I am wavering in my resolve to not have a c-section just in case. I feel empty.
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