Well said Kim.  You're a beautiful midwife.

Jen

 --- Kim Stead <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: 
>  
> Hi guys
> 
> I just wanted to add that I am not pro or against
> abortion - just
> understanding of women's difficulties and changing
> circumstances that come
> up and bite you in the bum when you least expect
> them!
> 
> I do know of women who have had abortions for very
> sound reasons (now I feel
> like I am having to justify their decisions or lack
> of them) and I have seen
> the heart-ache that this has caused for years to
> come.  They have not been
> decisions that have been taken lightly and often
> they have affected many
> people in the wings - family and the professionals
> caring for them.  I have
> also worked with some amazing midwives who have
> cared for women during the
> procedure (and not the early ones) because they have
> been 'dropped' by their
> midwives, doctors etc (and often ones they trusted)
> for the decision that
> had been made.  They felt that were being judged by
> people (professionals)
> who should know better and who knew very little of
> their personal situations
>   The midwives who cared for these women often had
> anti-abortion feelings
> also but kept that part of their personal belief
> system and not for public
> knowledge.  Others felt that this was not something
> that they could be
> involved with (ethical reasons or emotional
> well-being) and professionally
> and kindly removed themselves from the situation
> making sure the woman was
> cared for by someone who could support her through
> one of the most difficult
> times of her life.  Usually we knew of those such
> people and as
> professionals we supported them with their difficult
> task.  Unit managers
> also knew which staff they could call on.  
> 
> As a student, one of my fellow colleagues was very
> open and somewhat
> ruthless in expressing her opinions.  "I will not
> care for such women!  I'm
> not that kind of midwife".  As midwives, especially
> when working in the
> continuity model... you don't know who these women
> are going to be.  They
> don't exactly have signs on their foreheads.   Often
> the women don't know
> who they are either.  Unfortuanately, abortion was
> almost a taboo subject in
> my training (issues with one the lecturer's I
> suspected) so I took it upon
> myself to research and present this topic as one of
> my special topic
> presentations.  I thought it was important for all
> midwives (and other heath
> professionals) to know how complex the situation is,
> situations but more
> importantly, how to deal with the situation when it
> arises.  As a woman and
> a mother, I have my own feelings and opinions but
> have also been very
> grateful that I have never been in such a
> situation.... but as a midwife I
> hope to have a professional approach to the subject
> as well and wanted to be
> prepared in advance.  I urge you all to give this
> some consideration so that
> the women we care for are treated in a respectful
> and non-judgemental manner
>   Know what services exist in your area and where
> these women and families
> can can help, advice and support.  Be clear about
> your professional and
> personal boundaries.
> 
> I value this list for the opportunity to share
> feelings and experienes but
> like some others, I don't feel it is an appropriate
> place to lay judgement
> and stir up feelings and emotions that lie deep
> within any one of us.  We
> all have our own issues, passions and  life
> experiences (both good and bad)
> and I know that certain topics are very close to
> home for me also.
> 
> Kiwi Kim.
> 
> 
> 
> 
>  
> Kim Stead
> Midwife : Birth-Wise Midwifery
> www.birth-wise.com.

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