Re: [ozmidwifery] Intro

[Jennifairy]

I just wanted to write to say "thank you" Gloria for these wise words. 
Your views on the 'inner need for a big story' really resonated with me 
& have made me think about how we (& I include myself in this!) either 
allow or encourage situations to play out to fulfill this need.... & yes 
birth is amazing & wonderful & exciting & awesome, & in some ways an 
'extreme' experience, but also just as much mundane, ordinary, 
common-place & just part of 'daily life'.... & you see this 
'ordinary-ness' much more at home than in hospital I think (well that is 
my experience anyway)..... its got me to wondering how much the 
perceptions women hold around birth are culturally defined, & how big a 
role TV & other 'entertainment media' has played in this 'drama of 
birth' thing.... for women, & midwives, & other health professionals 
involved in maternity care..... definitely our expectations have 
changed, both as consumers & carers... & whether women experience birth 
in hospital as 'ordinary' to start with...
just thinking out loud...
jennifairy
independant midwife in south australia
(so good to finally write that!)

Gloria Lemay wrote:
I've just joined the list and live in Vancouver, BC Canada.  Some of 
you know me from articles I've written for Midwifery Today Magazine or 
just from being a generally uppity, brazen woman. 
 
Lieve told me you were discussing the "drama in birth" thread and I 
have read the posts with interest.  It's so elusive, isn't it, trying 
to describe what birth "is".  It's very paradoxical---- a rites of 
passage, yet an ordinary day
profound and spiritual yet down and dirty
complex yet so simple
intimate yet lonely and solitary
painful yet pleasurable
a huge accomplishment yet not of our doing
 
Just when I think I know something about birth, something proves I 
know nothing once again.  What a fun profession to be in.   I would 
hope that introducing the lens of "drama" to examining birth would 
lead not so much to pointing fingers of blame for what's wrong with 
birth but, rather, to each player owning their own need for drama and 
lightening up a bit about it.  When I had my last baby, I learned a 
technique for "disappearing" pain and used it all through the birth 
process.  I only had about 5 minutes when I thought "Gloria, you 
idiot, you knew it would feel like this, why are you here again?!"   
As soon as the baby was out, I had this huge wave of regret. . . . .I 
had had a painless birth and had no story to tell, oh dear.  I 
realized what an idiot I was, of course.  Who in their right mind 
would want a dramatic story over a smooth birth??  I share that story 
with other women so they can take a look at the inner need for a big 
story in their own lives.  When we get these things out of the closet 
and into the light of day, we become more powerful.  The only demons 
that control us are the ones within.
 
As a birth attendant, too, I can see that I have a need to be a 
"saviour" and a 'hero" instead of a fly on the wall.  Dramatic births 
are food for the insatiable ego.  Learning to love the simple, silent 
arrivals with only a flickering, fleeting glance of gratitude from the 
woman transformed into mother. . . that is the quest of our spirits. 
 
I look forward to getting to know you on this list.  Gloria Lemay, 
Vancouver, BC Canada
 

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