I completely agree, Nicole. Women who write and share their birth stories
with other women often begin to heal in ways not possible without the
sharing. I posted a while ago a link to many stories which were responses to
caesarean for NCAD as I felt that was one way to help carers remember that
we're women not jobs. Many women I see are too traumatised to consider
talking about their birthrape and I know there's no way I could set foot in
RWH again hence my meeting with the HSC which amounted to diddly squat in
real terms. As part of Accessing Artemis, women know that we will go to the
hospy meetings with them but even then it's too hard. No one expects us to
confront a rapist one to one but a raping health care professional we are
supposed to sit in the room with? One of my friends vomits uncontrollably
when she sees photos of her own child's birth. Another friend moved states
to get away from the hospital where her son was cut out of her body against
her wishes. Few people take birth trauma seriously and put it down to women
having unrealistic expectations or a history of child sexual assault. It's
as if the experience cannot possibly create such trauma so we must find
other reasons that stop us being responsible as carers or as a society. But
given women's poor access to all kinds of services, our rates of rape and
domestic violence, why would women expect anything different? Women often
internalise the experience because they are told "how lucky" they are they
got a healthy baby, or told to be grateful to their carers. And many of us
are told we have PND when actually we have PTSD - vastly different! Trying
to get help in Melbourne after my birthrape was a nightmare and it wasn't
until I became suicidal (also very common among the women I know) and sought
counselling from Rhea Dempsey that I began to heal. The process continues. I
still grieve a little every day that RWH took my son from me in the first 2
hours of his life.
J
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