RE: [ozmidwifery] The 'wrong' gender

[Barbara Stokes]

Dear Andrea, Over my 30+ years of a midwife, I remember 2 births that were influenced by the “ultrasound” reports. The first was mother to be of her 5th boy, turned out to be a girl so result was happiness all round! The second event was a mother having 2nd baby, first was a boy and ultrasound said this one would be a girl.  Over the labour, mother and support people talked about the “nursery being newly painted pink, girls names chosen, grandma had jewellery engraved with this name etc.  Baby was a boy! The atmosphere in the birth room was one of shock, mum took a couple of hours to just hold her new baby!  I felt incredibly sad for this baby and family but the next day all (at least on the surface!) seemed ok.  I think the baby was being bottle fed, though this was decided before the birth. Barbara Stokes   -----Original Message----- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Andrea Bilcliff Sent: Monday, 24 October 2005 11:09 AM To: Ozmidwifery Cc: Maternity Coalition Midwives Subject: [ozmidwifery] The 'wrong' gender   Sorry for cross posting... I have a client who is due to give birth soon and she really wants a baby of a particular gender but the ultrasound has shown the baby to be the opposite. This is much more than being a little disappointed and it does not appear to have eased over the course of the pregnancy.   She has expressed concerns about how this may potentially affect her labour. She also expresses enormous guilt over having these feelings when she already has healthy children, including one of this gender. She is also concerned about the effects her feelings/thoughts are having and will have on her baby's development.   Assuming the ultrasound is correct, has anyone had experience of this either as a mother or care provider? Any words of wisdom?   Thanks, Andrea Bilcliff