"I admit, I do get a bit cheesed when they turn up with 101 friends, they chose to birth at the BC because of the non-interference approach. They are suppose to trust us, but obliviously some don't. Our repeat customers don't tend too,"
I don't think it is all about trust. Some times it's about the different things that each person brings to the birth for that woman. As a mum talking, I had my mum, sister, DH & best friend at my first but none of them new anything about birth in the current hospital environment. (Nor did I). And it was a terrible birth experience that lead me down my current path. The second time I did but I choose to have DH & Doula, with Mum there until we left for Hospital. This worked for me, I was S*^t scared of going to hospital (I knew a lot of the midwives there but not all like doula's and are prepared to use expectant management happily and that's what I wanted). I actually wanted a friend there too who had VBAC'd before but a family death prevented it. I honestly did not trust that I would get the care that I wanted. We don't have a BC or HB yet. I also was aware that if it happened to be busy I would not get first class care, I would not get as much time from the midwife as I might have wanted and that might have affected things. And it was my birth so I did not give a hoot who's nose was put out because I had people with me. I just wanted my team to work together around me. The people I had hand picked would do that, I could not speak for the midwife assigned to me on the night. Don't get me wrong I spend a great deal of time fighting for one-to-one midwifery care and believe in the midwifery model with my whole heart. I will one day be a midwife. But I had no guarantees that anyone I knew and supported me would be there. As a Doula, I am there for mum and dad. I know that when I am there I often get the best part of what should be a midwifes role. The support. I know that that cheeses some midwives off. But 8 out of 10 times the midwives on wont be able to spend a good amount of time going it anyway especially if that support is just to sit for 2 hours and hold her water at the ready. Most times in the normal system the only people there from beginning to end are the ones that come with the woman. So from the woman's perspective what is best? Who is it about? Are we there for the joy of watching new life enter the world or for something else? I am not being disrespectful I have already said how much I love midwives, but there is room for everyone. I would love to have a birth surrounded by fearless women and 1 or 2 hands off midwives. I once supported a young couple through a Still birth at 39+5 and was told by one of the midwives that I should not have been there. That the woman's mother should have. This woman's mother had just arrived from NSW and had no idea how the woman wanted to give birth or what support she wanted and the birthing mother did not want her mother there. But for some reason my presence was an affront to the midwife. I try to work in harmony with every one in the room whilst doing what mum requests of me. I am looking for some reasons as to the resentment I feel I guess. What say you all? I am open to all feedback. I have to examine for myself on a regular basis why I choose to do this work. Is it to protect women from the system that crapped on me? Is it for the privilege of being there? Is it for the money (that one does not take long to decide, I made less than $3 per hour last birth)? Does it satisfy some thing in me to be there? What do I want them do get out of me being there? Do I want to influence the outcome of the birth? Do I think I can empower women? Do I want to be the one she says "thank you I couldn't have don't it with out you" to? Do I want to be needed? Do I want to be whatever she wants me to be? Again I hope no-one is offended and I hope that this is read with the spirit of openness and desire for learning in which it was written. I just want to do my job better and I want Doula's to be more accepted by midwives. ( I also want HB & BC births to be available to anyone who wants one so I am optimistic.) Any way cheers, Philippa Scott Birth Buddies - Doula Providing Informational, Physical & Emotional Support during Pregnancy, Child Birth & the Newborn time. President of the Friends of the Birth Centre Townsville -- This mailing list is sponsored by ACE Graphics. Visit <http://www.acegraphics.com.au> to subscribe or unsubscribe.
