Hello Kelly,
Diane said "
Kelly, be careful about what you say in the de-brief. ... it is far more
important to listen to her and let her vent
than giving her too much information. She will be very raw and vulnerable
and will take in everything you say..."
agree wholeheartedly with that.
Kindness, love and listening. Let her talk and cry if she needs to, ask open
questions about how she feels and what she thinks... meaning making is
important after any event and particularly the birth of her precious,
beautiful baby.
Being able to listen to the difficult parts with love and openness are
critical, inviting her to talk about her feelings " how is that for you..."
"how do you feel about that..."
and being able to be with her through her pain without having to 'fix' it...
it is important to know that she has the internal power and strength to find
meaning and resolution
the biggest thing is being able to express what has happened in an open,
trusting, trustworthy space and being heard... during the reflective process
it is amazing what insights we come up with for ourselves. Pain expressed in
the loving presence of someone who lets us do that, means the
molecules/chemicals of emotion are liberated and are not mapped in our
neurology as deeply as it would have been had it not been expressed.
It is great she has you to talk to! What a blessing. So many women nurse
their hurts to themselves and that hurt becomes woven into the fabric of who
they are.
warmly, Carolyn Hastie
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