Organizationally, this document is not in very good shape. I understand it has been a work in progress, but it is also an -03 version with experienced co-authors which should be a whole lot better for the working group to make an informed decision on.
I can not provide comments on individual sections or pages because most comments are global in scope. I believe this document desperately needs an assigned editor from the outside with experience editing large IETF specs over a long period of time and a co-editor picked from among the current co-authors. They would need to rewrite approximately 60% of the text. Also, I think a structured rewrite will uncover lots of missing normative text and specification. Here are some specific issues: 1. No normative/non-normative separation. Effectively, the entire document consists of normative text. The first normative language is on page 19. Normative text is often buried in long paragraphs of exposition and explanation. Some of the explanatory text is repeated multiple times in multiple locations. 2. Needs better organization. The early parts of the document contain extremely detailed sections on certificate usage and signature generation before the reader even understands what is being protected and signed. Also, there is lots of text about the Enrollment server, which is actually out of scope. I'd recommend moving most of this text to Appendices. 3. No introductory explanations. The document needs an Introduction with a non-normative explanation of how the protocol works. As it stands, the reader has to wait until around page 76 to begin to get an understanding how the protocol works. Usually, documents have the other problem - too much introduction and not enough normative statements. This document seems to focus on minute details and leaves the big picture underspecified. 4. Not even one call flow. The sequence of PING/CONNECT/JOIN/UPDATE/STORE used to join the overlay is far from obvious and needs at least one non-normative call flow to help the poor reader understand. Bootstrapping is also tricky to understand without at least one call flow. Thanks, Alan _______________________________________________ P2PSIP mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/p2psip
