Andrew Ball wrote:
>
> I've got a working prototype of a new Visor Springboard module.
>
> It's basically a fully functional rotisserie oven, with two massive
> sprockets on the ends of six stainless steel barbeque skewers. It's called
> the "Rotisserie Master"� Springboard.
Phew! We're so excited to hear that we're not the only ones
creating a line of Handy Cooking Essentials(tm) for Handspring
devices. Some of your problems seem to correlate with difficulties
we faced during the beta process, and I think we can help. After
all, the more food cooked with Handspring devices the faster we will
solve the world's hunger problems!
> I have a few technical problems to solve and I'm soliciting advice.
Our main unit, the Handy Blowzzard(tm), creates frozen dairy
delights by only adding water and flavoring. The unit itself
is inserted upside down and whips the mixture into edible treats.
Options like temperature, consistency, mixture, etc. are controlled
through software, of course.
> 1) The heat from the rotisserie seems to be fusing the Visor's touch
> screen layers together. This causes "mistaps" or phantom taps. While I've
> had some success using heat resistant mylar to shield the Visor, I'm still
> seeing a fair bit of smoke and charring from the outer shell of the Visor,
> plus the butcher block applique on the Springboard interface seems to be
> peeling badly. Suggestions?
We ran into the opposite problem when our ionic coolant leaked
onto one of our beta testers hands and resulted in frostbite and the
subsequent amputation of three fingers. We immediately recalled the
unit and removed the beta tester from our list. We don't need fool
testers that can't even prevent injury to themselves!
Our LCD display was undergoing extreme latency periods from the
cold, so we were forced to also install a small butane burner on the
back of the module. We've found that the mixture of excessive differences
between heat and cold produced a normalcy that did not interfere too
badly with human life. However, one beta tester reported that his unit
lasted a scant 4 minutes before shattering into plastic shards while
mixing his Dairy Delight(r). We fired him, too. We don't need beta
testers who can't take good care of their prototype!
> 2) The hot fat from meat dribbles down into the case workings. I'm looking
> for a simply but elegant solution to control the problem. Perhaps some
> sort of fire-proof, oil resistant bushing material? If I can solve this
> problem, I think I've got the whole ventilation thing licked as well.
One of our beta testers stated that her unit broke shortly after
inserting her Handspring device into a mixture of water and Blueberry
Blowzzard Delight(tm). Frankly, we were quite shocked! After all we
did for her to send her a beta unit... (She is no longer a beta tester.)
> 3) I tried using lithium cells, but I just couldn't get the heating
> elements to warm up. At the moment, the Rotisserie Master requires a
> three-phase, 100 amp, 240VAC disconnect to ensure proper cooking
> temperatures. Obviously, this can make the Rotisserie Master somewhat
> cumbersome and I'm worried that ultimately, this will reduce market share.
> Plus, when the Rotisserie Master Springboard module ships with all its
> options, the shipping weight is close to 135 pounds net.
We've licensed an entropy reversal (http://www.entropysystems.com)
system and are able to achieve extreme cold (~73.5K) through low-
pressure air induction and our small butane fuel cell. I suggest that
you look into these methods. One of our beta testers informed us that
his dog froze to death in the night after cuddling up near his Handy
Blowzzard(tm) unit. Of course, we immediately fired him and revoked
his unit. We certainly don't want animal killers on our beta team!
(We are also considering legal action against him for cruelty to
animals.)
> Additionally, in re-reading my notes on "the Zen of Palm", it would seem
> that I'm stretching the boundaries of what Jeff and Donna had in mind in
> terms of form factor.
>
> Anyone got any suggestions on how to reduce the weight/power draw of the
> unit without compromising that "right out of the oven" barbeque flavour?
We suggest that if you can't create a real flavor, fake one by
enhancing molecular flavoring. We've been able to create Real-Tasting(r)
flavors for our Blowzzard(tm) products. However, their nutritional
value is dubious at best. But if a beta tester brings this point up,
fire them immediately and recall their unit. You don't need fool beta
testers messing up your poduct, that's for sure!
Sincerely,
Hank Simmeraschf
Handy Cooking Essentials, Inc.
p.s. If anyone would like to beta test our product, please let us
know. We, uh, seem to be running a little short of testers right now...
