On 30/11/03, [EMAIL PROTECTED] disgorged:
>To eliminate (or at least reduce) confusion, I would like to point out that
>I wrote the reply below to Bob Waldken's Coleridge posting. And indirectly
>addressed a question from Cotty in the same reply. The "Cotty" at the bottom
>is NOT the signature, it is the beginning of a sentence I did not complete.
>
>(And the answer to the question: "what is he drinking tonight?!" is "Black
>Swan Shiraz," a low-end Australian which is actually quite nice. If you like
>a red wine which bites back.)
....or indeed positively chews your head off ;-)
A few years ago I used to religiously follow UK supermarke twine guru
Malcolm Gluck's advice in the Guardian newspaper ('Superplonk'). Accused
of always recommending wine, he was challenged to do just the opposite
and highlight wine that should be missed at every opportunity. The two
columns he wrote, I cut out and have adorned our kitchen notice board for
years. I present them here:
[NOTE: written about 1992 or so - and taken tongue in cheek. And yes, we
Brits get hammered as well - smile!]
"...White Riochas should be given a wide berth. Treat the words 'Hungary'
and 'Gewurztraminer' on the same label as gingerly as a skull and
crossbones. Pass by all English wine with the possible exception of Carr
Taylor.
Treat with disdain all wine from India, especially if it sparkles. Under
no circumstances go within one nautical mile of any wine bearing the
imprint Gallo Bros; the only exception is the Grenache, which is passable.
Do not allow any wine under fiver per cent alcohol to pass you lips; it
is a sham. Do not drink, however seductive the circumstances, red wine
from Germany. Regard all self-proclaiming organic wines with intense
suspicion. And engage all 'sample case offers' from wine merchants with
the same wariness as a large brute pushing past you in the bank queue
with a shotgun.
The field of non-contenders, then, is pretty wide. And I do not include
other more obvious betes noires. Lambrusco, for example. Apart from this,
there are individual wines I would embrace teetotality to escape.
Waitrose [store] has a perfectly nauseous Sauterne from Barton &
Guestier. The Co-op's Lohengrin Trocken wild horses could not impel me to
re-sip. Littlewood's boasts a fairly undrinkable thing called Beauchamp Blush.
Marks & Spencer has two utterly characterless miniatures which blow
gaping holes in the Trades Descriptions Act: a Kir, which not only has no
white Burgundy in it's make-up but equally uses blackcurrant juice
instead of the mandatory creme de cassis and a Bucks Fizz which tastes
like sparkling cardboard and carrot juice.
However, the most undrinkable concoction by several lengths of chalk is
the utterly murderous Crimean Red. No supermarket stocks it, I am
relieved to report, but there are, I am told, high street wine merchants
who do. Do you have someone you loathe with special venom? Crimean Red is
made for them. Proffer a bottle, stay around for the first sip and, I
tell you, it's more satisfying than watching the sun set on a Barbadian
beach with the kids sound asleep 10,000 miles away."
(Copyright Guardian Newspaper / Malcolm Gluck)
Cheers,
Cotty
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