Woo Hoo! Now that's getting even. ;-) I kinda like the one about exercising on the beach though. Never thought of that.
Don (Suck in, Relax. Suck in, Relax. Whew, This is a lotta work!) ;-) > -----Original Message----- > From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] > Sent: Friday, March 11, 2005 8:14 PM > To: [email protected] > Subject: Re: Totally OT: It's tax time! > > > May all time favorite man joke: > > What does a man think is a six course meal? > > ========== > a six-pack > > Followed by some I just got off a web page: > > What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? > Four guys watching a football game. > > How are husbands like lawn mowers? > They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half > the time they > don't work. > > How do men define a "50/50" relationship? > We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle. > > How do men exercise on the beach? > By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. > > How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? > Make him wear shoes. > > How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? > Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals." > > How does a man show he's planning for the future? > He buys two cases of beer instead of one. > > How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? > All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs. > > How many men does it take to open a beer? > None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch. > > How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? > One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve > around him. > > How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? > Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the > screwing part. > > What did God say after creating man? > I can do so much better. > > What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? > Any place without a drive-up window. > > What do you call a handcuffed man? > Trustworthy. > > What do you call a man with half a brain? > Gifted. > > What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? > Exchange him. > > What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner? > A power failure. > > What should you give a man who has everything? > A woman to show him how to work it. > > Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? > Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened. > > Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? > Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe. > > Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? > Because if they all went, it would be Hell. > > Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg? > Because not one will stop and ask for directions. > > I disagree with keith, I think ethnic and racial jokes were based on true > belief in what people were joking about: that Poles were stupid, > that Jews were > greedy, that Blacks were lazy, shiftless, and thieves. I grew up > in a very > suburban Caucasian community and I remember people cracking those > jokes, and there > was true belief in those stereotypes (which in their minds made the jokes > okay) and a real hint, or more than a hint of meanness behind them. > > The last person who made an offensive Black joke in my presence, > I threw out > of my house. Well, I told him I would if he made one more. He > didn't believe > me, so he made one more. And I did. That was back in the mid > eighties, and > personally, I am glad those days are behind us. We don't need > that kind of c___. > > Ta, Ta, Have a Nice Day, Marnie :-) >
