Swami's 2003 State of the Universe Address
by Swami Beyondananda
Hello everybody -- it is great to be here ... and you know what? We
really have no choice. Because no matter where we are, we are always
here. And it is always now. In fact, there's even a book called The
Power of Now. I haven't had time to read it yet, but I hope to get to
it in a later now.
Meanwhile, back in this now, the issue facing the United States, and
indeed the world is, will George Bush give in to his Big Iraq Attack
and order up a war? Latest reports say that a war to force a regime
change in Iraq will cost $200 billion. It is puzzling to me why some
of those fiscal fitness fanatics in the Republican Party haven't
tried to find a cheaper way to do it. Maybe if they offered the
Iraqis half -- $100 billion -- they could do it themselves. Then we'd
still have $100 billion left to spend on regime change in this
country.
Because -- and I have to be blunt here -- the folks we have in charge
are fossils fueled by fossil fuels. And in the reptilian brain,
problems aren't solved, they're attacked. Like the War on Poverty.
Remember that? I'm happy to report that it's finally over. The poor
people have all surrendered. And take the War on Drugs -- please! How
many billions have they spent? My solution is cheaper and more
effective ... improve reality!
Now we have the War on Terrorism. We're going to terrorize those
terrorists into giving up terrorism if it's the last thing we do! And
it just might be. The good news is -- and I have it on the Highest
Authority -- there will indeed be peace on Earth. Whether we humans
are around to enjoy it, that is up to us.
No wonder there is so much fear, uncertainty and confusion on the
planet. I'll tell you how bad it's gotten. You've heard of
Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle? Well, they're not even sure about
THAT anymore. And so, more and more people are turning to the mystics
for answers.
I have often said there are two kinds of mystics, the optimystics and
the pessimystics. Now pessimystics seem to be more in touch with
"reality," but optimystics are happier and live longer for some
reason. The pessimystics have been crying, "The sky is falling, the
sky is falling!" The optimystics say, "No. It just looks that way
because we are ascending." Now, for those people who read the news --
not to mention those unfortunate enough to BE in the news -- last
year was not an easy year to keep an optimystic attitude with so much
pessimystic evidence. Call me a hopeless "hopium" addict, but I
choose to accentuate the positive. For example, you can say we human
beings have moved further down the path of self-destruction. Or you
could say the Earth is ridding itself of a virulent parasite.
You can despair over continuing war, disease and starvation, or you
can go, "Hey, population control the good, old fashioned way --
without birth control or abortion." Who says "compassionate
conservative" is an oxymoron? You can worry about the government
taking liberties with our liberties or you can say, "Life has become
simpler! They've boiled the Bill of Rights down to just one: You have
the right to remain silent."
So I am not going to dwell on the negative. As my guru Harry Cohen
Baba used to say, "Life is like photography ... we use the negative
to develop." So let us look at the bright side. Like technological
advances, for example. Forty years ago President John F. Kennedy
promised to have a man on the moon by the end of the 1960s. Well, we
have far exceeded that. Thanks to the so-called Patriot Act, George
Bush can have a man on Uranus by the end of the week! George Bush was
responsible for a great spiritual advance last year, as well. He
upgraded the Golden Rule for the new millennium. It's now the Gold
Rule: "Doodoo unto others before they can doodoo unto you."
And -- say what you will -- President Bush has made great strides on
behalf of minority representation. Never before have we had a
President who was looking out for a smaller minority. Now this is the
State of the Universe Address, and seen from that higher perspective,
things look great! I am happy to report that the Universe continued
to expand in 2002, and in fact, they actually had to let the Photon
Belt out a another notch. An expanding Universe means more jobs too,
so we can expect a steady influx of aliens looking for work. Yep, the
Universe just keeps purring in perfection, ever-changing as usual.
The planets continue to harmoniously spin in their orbits, and except
for the occasional case of asteroids, they just calmly go about their
business.
Meanwhile, back here on earth, things are a bit more problematical.
We still haven't fully recovered from that vicious dogma attack of
911. But as an optimystic, I believe you can indeed teach an old
dogma new tricks, simply by changing the emPHAsis to another
sylLABle. Instead of focusing only on emergency measures, why not
take emerge 'n SEE measures?
When we emerge from our fearful hiding places and see from the cosmic
comic perspective, we realize that beneath all the stress and
distress and sadness in life there is a deep well of joy. Each time
we let laughter bubble up from the well, we experience deep wellness.
Levity helps us overcome gravity, especially when we shine the light
of laughter on those poorly-lit corridors of power.
Do you know what the leading cause of terrorism is? It's seriousness.
I'm serious. Think about it. Those people have no sense of humor.
Otherwise how could they believe they will get to heaven by putting
other people through hell? Here is my vision: A suicide bomber
arrives at the Gates of Heaven, and God clops him over the head and
says, "SCHMUCK! What'd you do that for? 72 virgins? YOU get one
72-year-old virgin, and his name starts with Ayatollah!"
But if Americans are willing to revive the Iraqi Horror Picture Show
just to feed our out-of-control oil habit, how are we that different?
How many innocents will be put through hell, just to preserve our
little corner of relative heaven? There is no real peace without
harmony and balance, only the vicious cycle of injustice.
Peons get tired of getting peed on, right? You get pissed on, and
pretty soon you're gonna get pissed off. This causes the hot spots to
flare, and pretty soon you have an uprising, which usually results in
a downfall. All these uprisings and downfalls can be wearing on the
body politic.
Fortunately, we do have a choice. One of my favorite stories recently
is about a Native American grandfather talking to his young grandson.
He tells the boy he has two wolves inside of him struggling with each
other. The first is the wolf of peace, love and kindness. The other
wolf is fear, greed and hatred. "Which wolf will win, grandfather?"
asks the young boy. "Whichever one I feed," is the reply.
Every day -- every moment -- we have the choice to feed the wolf of
love or the wolf of fear. It is interesting that we are called
humanKIND. What better time than now to find out, can mankind treat
man kindly?
I have a dream ... I call it tell-a-vision. I say, if you're
dissatisfied with the current programming, you can turn off your TV
and tell a vision instead. Here is my vision: Remember the Manhattan
Project during World War II? It took less than four years for a group
of scientists to develop the first weapon of mass destruction. My
vision is, we can do even better for an even worthier goal. We could
call it the Manhelpin Project, and its purpose would be to develop
the first weapon of mass construction instead.
Think about it. What if we used that $200 billion set to detonate in
Iraq, and put it toward becoming the worldwide leader in renewable,
clean, sustainable energy sources? Now there's some real power.
Create something so plentiful you don't have to pay an army to
protect your share. A healthy income, a healthy outcome ... what
could possibly make more sense? Boy, talk about feeding two birds
with one scone! The choice is up to us. If we want an alternative, we
must feed the "alter native" economy ... anything that alters us
natives for the better. The world we live in is a byproduct of the
products we buy, is it not? What if we only choose to buy products
with healthy byproducts? Think about this: There are at least 45
million Americans who consciously want to feed the wolf of peace. If
each of us switched just $100 into the alter native economy, that
would be $4.5 billion!
Last year, we launched a blisskrieg and declared "all out peace." I'm
happy to report it is already working.
More people are letting their inner peace out, and these outbreaks of
peace are actually causing esteem to rise! And we all know that
rising esteem is good for the atmosphere. As esteem rises, more
people on the planet will be able to be all that they can be --
without joining the army. And when more of us put our energy into
love and laughter instead of criticizing and condemning, we will have
Uncritical Mass ... and we will bring about Nonjudgment Day, and
along with it, Disarmaggedon. Now you might be wondering, what will
Nonjudgment Day look like? Let me tell another vision.
I have been to the heights of levity, and I have seen people all over
the world dancing together in the universal dance of fool realization
... The Hokey Pokey. I want you to hold this vision with me: all of
the world leaders at the United Nations beginning their sessions with
the Hokey Pokey. What if Ariel Sharon and Yasser Arafat put their
whole selves in in? That would be commitment. And then pulled their
whole selves out. That is detachment. Then they turn themselves
around, which is transformation. And that, my friends, is what it is
all about!
So, how can you help raise the laugh force on the planet enough to
bring about Nonjudgment Day? First, you can take a vow of levity, and
laugh more. And we even have a Laughmore Society to help you do just
that. Next, you can support everyone's right to laugh by joining the
Right To Laugh Party ...
"One big party, everyone is invited. All for fun, and fun for all."
Commit random acts of comedy. Practice Fun Shui and leave the world a
funnier place. Anything to elicit a moment of fool-realization with a
spark of laughter. Because only when we lovingly laugh at our
foolishness, can we seriously change things for the better . May you
wake up laughing and leave laughter in your wake ... and may the
Farce be with you!
--
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Drop Bush, Not Bombs!
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"During times of universal deceit,
telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."
George Orwell
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