Lewinsky Releases White House Schedule
Heavily Redacted Document Raises Questions

Under pressure to reveal her precise contributions to the Clinton
presidency, former White House intern Monica Lewinsky released her
official White House schedule today.

Ms. Lewinsky hoped that in releasing the schedule she would put to
rest nagging questions about her role in the Northern Ireland peace
talks and the controversial NAFTA trade agreement.

But shortly after the heavily redacted schedule was released to the
press, it became clear that the document was raising more questions
than it answered.

"There's no question that Ms. Lewinsky spent hours in the Oval Office,
but it's unclear what she was working on," said Democratic operative
Carol Foyler. "If she was in there supporting NAFTA, that could be
very damaging to her politically."

On the campaign trail, Sen. Hillary Clinton defended the many
redactions in her own White House schedule, calling the alterations
"changes you can believe in."

Ms. Clinton said that if elected, "I will start redacting my new White
House schedule on Day One."

[by Andy Borowitz.]
-- 
Jim Devine / "Segui il tuo corso, e lascia dir le genti." (Go your own
way and let people talk.) -- Karl, paraphrasing Dante.
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