In early April I received a letter from Victor, my late mom’s 94 year
old long-time companion. (They did not live together nor were they
intimate, but their bonds were as strong as any couple’s.) He sent me a
Yahrtzeit schedule, which indicates when Kaddish, the prayer for the
dead, should be said for my mother and explained: “The enclosed
[schedule] should be very clear. Your mother would be very happy if she
knew you would say Kaddish over her.” The irony, of course, is that I
have only decided to step foot in a temple after my mother’s death. In
the past 25 years or so, she had pressured me constantly to become
observant but in my own stubborn way (inherited from her), I refused.
As it turned out, I had plans to do this without any prompting from
Victor, as I stated not long after my mother’s death. So yesterday my
wife and I went down to Temple Shaaray Tefila, a Reform Synagogue on
Second Avenue and 79th Street, for 10:15 Minyan services. (A Minyan
means ten, a kind of quorum for Jewish services.) I had called the
temple on Thursday to check out whether you had to be a member to
attend. This synagogue is in the middle of prime NYC real estate and I
had a feeling that it might operate as private club. There’s a funny
“Curb Your Enthusiasm” episode when Larry David tries to get entry to a
ritzy Beverly Hills Synagogue for Yom Kippur using a hawked ticket. The
Shaaray Tefila receptionist said that there was no need to be a
member—just show up.
full: http://louisproyect.wordpress.com/2009/05/03/kaddish/
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