http://fafblog.blogspot.com/2011/03/humanitarians-of-year.html


Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Humanitarians of the Year
Freedom! If there's one thing America loves, it's... well, war. But if
there's two things America loves, it's war and torture. But if there's
three things America loves, it's war, torture, and genocide. But if
there are several dozen things America loves, they are war, torture,
genocide, chattel slavery, apartheid, ethnic cleansing, assassination,
poverty, institutionalized bribery, remote-controlled flying death
robots and somewhere down the
list, between prison labor and lagoons of toxic pig shit, there is
almost certainly a special place in our national heart for freedom.

And so it is that the United States is fighting to free the Libyan
people from the Libyan people by killing the Libyan people. The
situation is fairly straightforward, after all - Libya faces a
humanitarian crisis, and the only way to address a humanitarian crisis
is to bomb it with hundreds of cruise missiles. I'm told that the Red
Cross still delivers bottled water and medical supplies by duct-taping
them to the nose cone of an outgoing Tomahawk. More importantly, the
Libyan people are oppressed by a bloodthirsty dictator - a dictator
who kills his own people - and the least we can do is kill those
people ourselves. How, I ask, can we stand idly by and allow people to
be slaughtered by a ruthless tyrant when we could be slaughtering them
instead?

You may ask, what makes getting killed by the United States any better
than getting killed by Qaddafi? Because we are America, killing for a
great American cause, in the name of Americanness, and our murder
victims, in their last moments, as their houses are burnt and their
schools destroyed and their neighbors incinerated and their families
turned into hamburger, will come to know our American values: of
freedom, of liberty, of toxic pig shit.

Labels: warnography
posted by the Medium Lobster at 11:21 AM




31 Comments:
i love the smell of peopleburgers in the morning.
by Blogger Montag, at March 23, 2011 11:38 AM
I miss pie blogging; can it not be four and twenty people baked in a pie?
by Anonymous Tongo Vargas, at March 23, 2011 12:02 PM
Pie-blogging this, pie-blogging that. We're out of pie! Eat your goddamn war!
by Anonymous Giblets, at March 23, 2011 12:16 PM
If you don't eat your war you can't have any pie. How can you have any
pie if you don't eat your war?
by Blogger fish, at March 23, 2011 12:54 PM
This is the best blog yet on the subject.

(Except for the one fish is going to write, in the past.)
~
by Blogger ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©, at March 23, 2011 1:00 PM
just looked at Der Spiegel's 'kill team' photos from Afghanistan.
checked fafblog in hope of feeling a little better. the phrase "toxic
pig shit" really helps.
by Anonymous Kathleen, at March 23, 2011 3:09 PM
Price of oil is being driven up by Operation Intervention in Lybia.
Raytheon is wallowing in Tomahawk missile money. War is good 4
bizne$$.
by Anonymous Weniger Gottquatsch, at March 23, 2011 5:42 PM
Posts like this are why I still eagerly anticipate each Fafblog post,
no matter how long the wait between them.
by Blogger JohnH, at March 23, 2011 6:02 PM
Do not underestimate the sacrifices Americans are willing to make for
humanitarianism. Just the 120 cruise missiles that were fired the
first day cost 120 million dollars. But Americans are willing to
starve our own children and let our elders freeze to death to pay for
those missiles. Just to bring the No Flies a chance to live in
freedom. We know No Flies are freest where there are no people, so
blowing up all the people is obviously the best way to make a No Fly
zone.
by Blogger bodiciah t rentlord III, at March 24, 2011 12:06 AM
Among the things this eleventh-generation American loves are apple
pie, comfortable shoes, and a suitable place to read an interesting
and informative book.

And Fafblog!
by Blogger mistah charley, ph.d., at March 24, 2011 1:40 PM
Tourtiere - French Canadian Pork Pie

The following is from our friend Jim Cummings, of Quilter's Muse
Publications, Concord, NH.

With best wishes,
Fannie Farmer (Mrs.)

The way I remember tourtiere is the way my grandfather, Romeo Morin,
cooked it. To begin with a quote from Daily Life In Early Canada:

In France the tourtiere pie-dish was a kitchen utensil for cooking
pigeon and other birds. The contents of the dish were known as ‘piece
tourtiere’ and during the first years in New France these distinctive
words were used. Over the years the word ‘tourtiere’ came to mean a
pate of fowl or game cooked and seasoned according to a special
household recipe in the family stew pan, for into it went not merely
turtle-doves but every kind of edible bird. Every housewife possessed
her own secret recipe, jealously preserved from generation to
generation. It was in this way that some venturesome housewives began
to prepare ‘pieces tou-tieres’ not only with birds but with the meat
of both wild and domestic animals. Such recipes held additional appeal
since they provided more filling and sustaining meals.

In more modern times the recipes generally get away from game and use
pork as the primary meat. The pig was a very important animal on the
subsistence Quebec farm. Some recipes call for a mixture of pork and
ground beef or ground veal. Most call for some combination of
allspice, cinnamon, cloves or nutmeg as well as garlic or onion. Some
use an addition of bread crumbs or potatoes, some are thick and some
are more liquid with the addition of boiling water to the browned,
spiced meat.

This was often served traditionally as part of the Christmas
celebration, often the family would have this when they returned from
Midnight Mass. In my family my grandparents would cook a large roast
pork dinner the Sunday before Christmas and the leftover pork and
mashed potatoes would go into the pie along with some onions and salt
and pepper. My grandfather never used any other spices. This would be
served hot on Christmas Eve with either leftover gravy or with butter.
My brother Dave used to eat his with ketchup. He was considered a
philistine.

Romeo Morin’s TOURTIERE

Chop up leftover roast pork and mix it with some leftover mashed
potatoes. Chop one onion, brown it in butter, and add to the mix. Add
salt and pepper, to taste. Put this in the bottom crust and cover with
the top crust. Cut some slits in the top, and bake in a 350º oven for
50-60 minutes, until brown.

Alternatively, you can brown some ground pork, drain the fat and use
that as a meat, and that is just as good. Recently, I have sprinkled a
bit of Allspice in the mix, and added a little bit of minced garlic.

TOURTIERE of Chef Louis Baltera, Chateau Frontenac, Quebec

For another version, which seems to be true to most of the tourtiere
that I have had in restaurants: Put about 2 lbs. of ground pork in a
large pan and brown. Then, drain the fat.

Add 1 cup of water
¼ tsp. nutmeg
¼ tsp. allspice
1 tsp. salt
½ cup chopped onion
¼ tsp. pepper

Simmer for ½ hour, stirring often. Remove from heat, and add 3 cups
bread crumbs. Mix well and allow to cool. Put it into the pie crust
and top with a crust. Bake 30 minutes in a 425º oven.
by Anonymous Fannie Farmer (Mrs.), at March 24, 2011 2:07 PM
Let them eat war! All hail fafblog! (except giblets, that weirdo is
always staring at me funny)
by Anonymous bay of arizona, at March 24, 2011 3:54 PM
So long as the majority of Americans are happy to choose continual
sleep in the form of big trucks and 600-channel cable teevee, whatever
President Boner and President Pawlenty and Grand TurtleBear Bachmann
do to the country will be just fine. Plus, more tax cuts for the rich!

The rest of us will eat Whale and Pigeon Pie:

1 Whale
1 Pigeon
62,000 Gal. water
¼ tsp. nutmeg
¼ tsp. allspice
1 tsp. salt
½ cup chopped onion
¼ tsp. pepper

Simmer at 600 degrees for 52 hours. Lower heat, and remove the "Tasty
Parts" and stuff into pie and top with crust. Serves the bottom 80% of
the population -- may be served if spoiled; they're peasants; who
cares.
by Anonymous Mongo, at March 24, 2011 3:58 PM
Just remember kids, when you grow up and get to be real army men never
ever kill people for fun.
by Anonymous melior, at March 24, 2011 4:55 PM
It's not just that this post is stupid - that goes without saying.

It is that it is *wilfully* stupid. The author made an explicit and
quite forceful effort to make himself type the stupidest things
possible while remaining vaguely on-topic.

It is quite remarkable, really.
by Anonymous Anonymous, at March 24, 2011 9:24 PM
Okra Tofu Pie think Anonymous is bravest little toaster of all. Okra
Tofu Pie also think toast quite remarkable, too.
by Anonymous Okra Tofu Pie, at March 24, 2011 10:04 PM
War is bad.
But.
War makes Fafblog come out to play.
Damn it.
Fafblog makes me <3 War.
by Anonymous Hunger Tallest Palin, at March 24, 2011 11:19 PM
It is quite remarkable, really.

It is. It is remarkable. It is alliterative, tuneful, and has a beat
you can dance to.

It brightened the countenance of a youth who read it, and presented
its readers with truth behind the truthiness that we are immersed in,
here in That America.

willfully stupid, my Doggy ass.
by Blogger Mongo, At The Moment, at March 24, 2011 11:22 PM
President Boner and President Pawlenty and Grand TurtleBear Bachmann

That's a mighty funny way to spell "Obama," sir.
by Anonymous moose n squirrel, at March 24, 2011 11:43 PM
Gosh, remember back when popular blogs liked making jokes about
Hillary Clinton being the candidate of endless war? Good times, good
times!

Good thing we didn't elect that bloodthirsty bitch, huh?
by Anonymous Hopey, the Eighth Dwarf, at March 25, 2011 1:00 AM
Its like imperialism never died and the west is invading everywhere.
well like as in it is.
by Anonymous super, at March 25, 2011 6:20 AM
We have never been a popular blog.
by Anonymous The Medium Lobster, at March 25, 2011 9:18 AM
Gosh, remember back when Fafblog said that you should vote for Barack
Obama instead of Hillary Clinton, because one was so clearly superior
to the other?

No?

No, me neither.
by Anonymous Anonymous, at March 25, 2011 9:30 AM
this is the best blog.

what is popularity?

just as we wouldn't have had Iraq if Algore had been president, so too
would we not have had Libya had Clinton been president. lol. it's fun
to think about things that didn't happen! sooo beautiful and peaceful!

i blame voters. those voting fucks! this whole fucking thing!
by Blogger Montag, at March 25, 2011 9:32 AM
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

speaking of things to eat, Okra Tofu Pie talks of "toast" - at the
supermarket yesterday I saw, in the crackers area, "toast" imported
from Brazil - really - the picture looked like Melba toast, thin,
rectangular and about the size of a regular loaf of bread - this was
just a regular middle-class supermarket, not one of these high-priced
gourmet shops

and speaking of previous comments, Mrs. F. brings up the Quebecker
pork pie "tourtiere", which is an anagram of "i.e. torture"

and speaking of toxic pig shit, it's like mob money - all in a pile,
it stinks, but spread it around enough and it makes flowers grow

life is like a beanstalk, isn't it?
by Blogger mistah charley, ph.d., at March 25, 2011 12:25 PM
If there is one thing america loves it's itself, i.e. everything
america asserts about itself, as seen on tv.
by Anonymous Opinion Engine, at March 25, 2011 2:49 PM
That's a mighty funny way to spell "Obama," sir.

Not at all! I call him "The President" -- but then, that's who lives
in the White House * . But -- point taken.

(* "Lil' Boots" Bush was appointed, an aberration, and "what we deserved".)

I freely admit: I worked hard for Mr. Obama's election, have been
badly disappointed since January, 2009. Call me naive; I wanted to
Believe.

Still want to.
by Anonymous Mongo, at March 25, 2011 6:22 PM
Preznit Obama is not at all for war and torture and pig shit and
preznitdential dictatorship and slavery-- just build a time machine
and ask him in 2008. You'll see.
by Blogger Bill, at March 25, 2011 9:15 PM
If that nice Democrat who ran in 2008 had been elected none of this
would be happening. I blame the Nader voters.
by Anonymous aa, at March 26, 2011 3:25 AM
We didn't $elect HHHillary? News to me! Somebody better tell Larry Summers!
by Blogger kelley b., at March 26, 2011 8:04 AM
aa -- hahahahahahahahahaha
by Anonymous Kathleen, at Ma
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