Putting soccer to the test:

Soccer is an absurd game.  The ball is too small and there is no
reason why it should be spherical rather than cubic.  The dimensions
of the field appear to me either too small or too large, depending on
which team is winning.  Five players in one team and twenty on the
other would lead to better scores.  For the most part, players are not
allowed to touch the ball with the hands, which makes any results of
the game dubious at best.  After heeding my argument against the very
premises of the game, I expect all soccer players to convert to
parchis and all soccer fans to suck it up.
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