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From: Cole, Juan <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>

Dershowitz and Grades of Human Beings

Alan "Torture is OK" Dershowitz is annoyed that the Israelis have been
accused of killing innocent civilians. He is now arguing that there
are degrees of "civilianity." He wonders how many innocent civilians
killed by Israel in Lebanon would still be innocent if we could make
finer distinctions.

(He should read the Lebanese newspapers and he would get the answer.
One third of those killed by the Israelis are children. I'd guess they
are all civilian all the time. And then there are the families, like
the Canadian women, children and men blown up at Aitaroun. I suppose
they are really civilians. Etc. )

But I don't know why Dershowitz stops there. Let me reformulate his
argument for him. Shouldn't we recognize degrees of humanness? After
all, isn't that the real problem? That the enemy is considered a full
human being in the law of war? That horrible Supreme Court judgment
that Hamdan had to be given a trial of some sort was based on the
misunderstanding that he is a human being.

Israeli officials have already showed us how Arabs can be reclassified
away from a full "human" category that they clearly, in the view of
the Kadima government, do not deserve.

For instance, Israeli ambassador to the United Nations Dan Gillerman
angrily denounced Kofi Annan for neglecting this key fact. The
Guardian reports, ' Mr Gillerman said "something very important was
missing" from Mr Annan's speech: any mention of terrorism. Hizbullah
were "ruthless indiscriminate animals", he told reporters. '

So you see, one reason that you can just bomb the hell out of the
Lebanese in general is that they aren't human beings at all. They are
"animals." You might quibble that Gillerman is only referring to
members of the Hizbullah party as animals, not all Lebanese. But most
Shiite Lebanese, some 45 percent of the population, support Hizbullah.
And the Lebanese government, made up of Christians, Sunnis and Druze,
let Hizbullah into the Lebanese government and gave it cabinet posts.
So probably those who tolerate Hizbullah are at most half-human. This
has yet to be worked out. It might be possible to declare them .66
animal. Or maybe they are just all animals. They speak Arabic, after
all, right Mr. Gillerman?

There is a problem with stopping here, however. It is not enough to
reclassify some human beings as animals. After all, you have to treat
animals humanely. You can even be fined for mistreating an animal,
though probably you would not go to jail.

The staff of US Secretary of State Condi Rice has made a suggestion
for another, more convenient level, that of snake. Thus, a senior
White House official referred to the massive Israeli bombing campaign
and destruction of Lebanon's civilization and killing of hundreds and
wounding of over a thousand as "defanging" Hezbollah. I am pretty sure
that language is meant to suggest that the Shiites of Lebanon,
although apparently human beings, are actually snakes. I suppose it is
possible that another sort of reptile is is intended, but I suspect
that "snake" is the intended classification.

But some snakes are protected species. We need a lower category. It is
clear that some human beings are neither human nor animal. Hamas and
Hizbullah members, for instance, are actually not even full organisms,
just diseases.

Israeli Deputy Consul General for San Francisco, Omer Caspi, said of
the Lebanese and Palestinian publics concerning Hamas and Hizbullah
members, "We say to them please remove this cancer off your body and
soul before it is too late."

Caspi did not specify whether members of Hamas are leukemia and those
of Hizbullah melanoma, or the reverse.

The good thing about finding out that some apparent human beings don't
have to be treated as well as whales (which have almost been wiped
out) is that it allows us to put behind all wimpy hesitancy just to do
what needs to be done.

I mean, a cancer. Everyone knows what you have to do with a cancer. It
requires chemotherapy. It needs to be just exterminated, before it
kills the snakes, animals and humans.

So we have the human beings, like Israeli Prime Minister Ehud "Bomb'em
Back to the Stone Age" Olmert and torture defender, attorney Alan
Dershowitz.

Then we have the animals, like the "persons" who vote for Hizbullah and Hamas.

Then we have the level of human-appearing snakes, who need to be
"defanged," which apparently involves killing their wives and children
with air strikes.

Then we have the cancers, who need to be "wiped out" immediately.

I understand that President Bush is appointing Alan Dershowitz to be
head of the "Human-Non-Human Metrics" commission that will decide
which people are full human beings, and which fall into other
categories, such as "animal," "snake," and "cancer."

It is rumored that that Dershowitz intends to create a special
category, of "cockroach," for the human-appearing creatures who dare
to criticize him.
--
Jim Devine / "You need a busload of faith to get by." -- Lou Reed.

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