Your coquettish plot to reveal the desperate yearning of your nethermost
alimentary canal for multiply redundant new egresses is neither charming nor
subtle--nor even innovative.  Although it would be no great trouble for me
to don the vestments and sharpen the cutlery to serve as haruspex for so
joyous an event as you have requested, I must confess doubt that these
divinations might augur anything that would prove to our current forum useful.
For the sake of general decorum, I must therefore deny your ardent request
of public evisceration, and instead quietly counsel you to maintain discreetly
hidden from public display the steaming faeculae that your mouth has just now
wetly ejected like some hydrophobic and coprophagous cur subjected to explosive
decompression.

--tom

Reply via email to