* There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor
pine in pineapple; English muffins were not invented in England or
French fries in France.
* Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
* We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we
find...that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and
a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
* And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers
don't groce, and hammers don't ham?
* If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
* One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese?
* One index, two indices?
* Is cheese the plural of choose?
* If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught?
* If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
* In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
* Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship?
* Have noses that run and feet that smell?
* Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
* How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a
wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
* How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
* When a house burns up, it burns down.
* You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off
by going on.
* When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are
out, they are invisible.
* And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up
this essay, I end it.
Title: English is a crazy language
