ini_set('display_errors', 'on');
     ini_set('display_startup_errors', 'on');

     ini_set('error_reporting', 'E_ALL | E_STRICT');
     ini_set('html_errors', 'On');
     ini_set('log_errors', 'On');

Ethan,Ethan,Ethan - what is all this "stuff" you have at the top??? Do you know how any of this is supposed to be written? You can not put Constants in quotes - they become just plain strings then, not Constants with the predefined values you (and the functions) are expecting. For example, 'on' is NOT the same as the use of the word : on. And your error_reporting setting (which you are attempting to do TWICE) is actually causing your script to NOT show any errors, which is preventing you from seeing that your script dies at the misspelled print statement and never gets to the pair of if statements that should call your good and bad functions.

Hate to do this to you, but you've been attempting to pick up PHP for two years now almost and from this latest post you appear to not have learned anything.

And WHY would you EVER want to have a time limit of 2400 seconds???????

And stop burying functions in the middle of your straight line code. It's ridiculous and makes reading your scripts a royal PIA.

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