> For those of you with a scientific disposition some Theories to ponder
> over ..... especially the cat one
> An American magazine held a competition, inviting its readers to submit
> new scientific theories on ANY subject. Below are the winners:
>  5th place (Subject: Probability Theory)
> If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup
> trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number
> of highway signs, they will eventually write the complete works of
> Shakespeare in Braille.
> 4th place (Subject: Bio-Mechanics)
> Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on
> your eardrums. This pressure change outside your head unbalances
> other people's ear pressures, so they then yawn to even it out.
> 3rd place (Subject: Symbolic Logic)
> The Chinese are technologically underdeveloped because each of their
> alphabetical characters represents a whole word or phrase, rather than
> a single letter. Thus they cannot use acronyms to communicate technical
> ideas at a faster rate.
> 2nd place (Subject: Newtonian Mechanics)
> Deforestation may cause earthquakes, tidal waves, or even the total
> destruction of our planet. Just as a figure-skater's rate of spin
> increases
> when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting down of tall
> trees may cause the Earth to spin dangerously fast on its axis with
> disastrous results.
> Winner (Subject: Perpetual Motion)
> When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is
> dropped, it always lands buttered side down. Therefore, if a slice of
> toast s strapped to a cat's back, buttered side up, and the animal is
> then dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning
> inches above the ground. If enough toast-laden felines were used, they
> could form the basis of a high-speed monorail system.
>  ....and then this mail got this reply from one of the recipients.
> I've been thinking about this cat/toast business for a while. In the
> buttered toast case, it's the butter that causes it to land buttered
> side down - it doesn't have to be toast, the theory works equally well
> with Jacob's crackers. So to save money you just miss out the toast -
> and butter the cats. Also, should there be an imbalance between the
> effects of cat and butter, there are other substances that have a
> stronger affinity for carpet.
> Probability of carpet impact is determined by the following simple
>  formula: p = s * t(t)/t? 
> where p is the probability of carpet impact s is the "stain" value of
> the
> toast-covering substance - an indicator of the effectiveness of the
> toast
> topping in permanently staining the carpet. Chicken Tikka Masala, for
> example, has a very high s value, while the s value of water is zero.
>  t?  and t(t) indicate the tone of the carpet and topping - the value of
> p
>  being strongly related to the relationship between the color of the
> carpet
> and topping, as even chicken tikka masala won't cause a permanent and
> obvious stain if the carpet is the same colour. So it is obvious that
> the
>  probability of carpet impact is maximised if you use chicken tikka
>  masala and a white carpet - in fact this combination gives a p value of
> one, which is the same as the probability of a cat landing on its feet.
>  Therefore a cat with chicken tikka masala on its back will be certain
> to
>  hover in mid air, while there could be problems with buttered toast as
>  the toast may fall off the cat, causing a terrible monorail crash
> resulting
>  in nauseating images of members of the royal family visiting accident
>  victims in hospital, and politicians saying it wouldn't have happened
> if
> their party was in power as there would have been more investment in
> cat-toast glue research. Therefore it is in the interests not only of
> public
> safety but also public sanity if the buttered toast on cats idea is
> scrapped, to be replaced by a monorail powered by cats smeared with
> chicken tikka masala  floating above a rail made from white shag pile
> carpet.

PHP General Mailing List (http://www.php.net/)
To unsubscribe, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
For additional commands, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
To contact the list administrators, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]

Reply via email to