Today's Joke: INDO-PAK WAR ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The cold war between US and USSR resulted in a system where if USA launched a Nuke-loaded missile, USSR's satellite were capable of informing the USSR army in 3 seconds, and in less than 45 seconds USSR would launch its counter-missile. US knew that and therefore never attempted to launch one. INDO-PAK War...... Pak army decides to launch a Nuke-missile towards India... They don't need any permission from their government, and promptly launch the missile. Indian technology is highly advanced. In less than 8 seconds, the Indian army detects it and decides to launch a missile in retaliation. But they need permission from the Government of India. They submit their request to the Indian President. The President forwards it to the Cabinet. The Prime Minister calls an emergency Lok Sabha session after three days. When the LS meets, there are several walk-outs and severe protests by the opposition, so it is adjourned indefintely. However, the President asks for a quick decision. The Pak missile, meanwhile, failed to take off due to unknown reasons. Their attempts for a launch are still on. Meanwhile, the Indian ruling party is reduced to a minority because an outside party withdraws support. The President asks the PM to prove majority next week. The ruling party is unable to get a confidence vote, and a caretaker government is installed. The acting PM decides to permit the armed forces to launch the Nuclear Missile. But the Election Commission says that a caretaker Government cannot take such a decision because elections are at the door and this decision will affect the swing of votes in the election. A public interest litigation (PIL) is filed in the supreme court of India, alleging misuse of power by the Election commission. Supreme Court comes to the rescue of the PM, and says acting PM is authorized to take this decision. In between all this, one of the Pak missiles successfully takes off, and falls 367 miles away from the target. The Missile falls on a government building at 11:00 AM. But since no employees have reached work, there are no casualties. The Pakistan army is now trying to get better technologies from China. US condemns use of a nuclear missile by Pakistan, and offers to send its seventh fleet to the Indian Ocean. The Indian government, wary of the move, declines. Finally, the Indian government decides to launch a nuclear missile, after convening an all party meeting. It's been three months since the army first sought permission. Pro-humanity, anti-nuclear activists come on board against the government's decision. Human chains are being made in New York, LA and Washington for peace. Indians are sending protest email requesting that it be "forwarded to as many Indians as possible". On the Pakistan side, missiles keep failing. At times they fail to take-off, at other times the payload gets detached from the missile during flight. Some missiles deviate from target due to high-speed winds blowing over Rajasthan, and have to be neutralized by Pakistan, as these missiles are now moving backwards towards Karachi. Finally, a missile smuggled from USA is used. The Pakistan army is unable to understand its software, so it hits its original destination: Russia. Russians successfully intercept the missile and in retaliation, launch a Nuclear missile towards Islamabad. The missile hit the target and creates havoc. Pakistan cries for help. It asks for loans from IMF and the world bank. India expresses deep regrets for what has happened and sends in a million dollars worth of soap. The War ends. -- PHP General Mailing List (http://www.php.net/) To unsubscribe, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] For additional commands, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] To contact the list administrators, e-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
