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In case you needed further proof that the human race
needs help, here are some actual label instructions on
consumer goods:

On Sears hair dryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

On bag of Fritos:
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On a box of Dial Soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

On some Schwann's frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost

On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.

On Tesco's Tiramisu desert:
Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.

On packaging for a Rowenta Iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.

On Nytol (a sleep aid):
Warning: May cause drowsiness

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: Keep out of children

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

On a Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for other use.

On Sainbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains Nuts

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

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