Pessoal, hoje dia 19/11/99 estamos comemorando 110 anos da bandeira
nacional(no seu atual formato) por isto venho pedir encarecidamente que
respeitemos a língua pátria, vamos fazer fazer um acordo de mandar
somente piadas em português.
Abraços  Hélio lage

Milton Roberto y Goya gravada:

> Para você que lê inglês, esta é imperdível!
> Here are some signs and notices written in English that were
> discovered throughout the world.  You have to give the writers
> an 'E' for Effort.
>   In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
>     We take your bags and send them in all directions.
>   Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
>     Would you like to ride on your own ass?
>   In a Tokyo Hotel:
>     Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please.  If you are not a
>     person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
>   In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
>     The lift is being fixed for the next day.  During that time we
>     regret that you will be unbearable.
>   On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
>     If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
>   In a Zurich hotel:
>     Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite
>     sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for
>     this purpose.
>   In an Acapulco hotel:
>     The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
>   In a Rhodes tailor shop:
>     Order your summers suit.  Because is big rush we will execute
>     customers in strict rotation.
>   Outside a Paris dress shop:
>     Dresses for street walking.
>   In a Leipzig elevator:
>     Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
>   In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
>     To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor.  If the cabin
>     should enter more persons, each one should press a number of
>     wishing floor.  Driving is then going alphabetically by national
>     order.
>   In a Paris hotel elevator:
>     Please leave your values at the front desk.
>   In a Rome laundry:
>     Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having
>     a good time.
>   In a hotel in Athens:
>     Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours
>     of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
>   In a Yugoslavian hotel:
>     The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the
>     chambermaid.
>   In a Japanese hotel:
>     You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
>   In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox
>   monastery:
>     You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and
>     Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except
>     Thursday.
>   In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
>     Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the
>     boots of ascension.
>   On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
>     Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
>   On the menu of a Polish hotel:
>     Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy
>     dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose;
>     beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
>   Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
>     Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
>   In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
>     Drop your trousers here for best results.
>   A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:
>     It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that
>     people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live
>     together in one tent unless they are married with each other
>     for that purpose.
>   In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
>     Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
>   In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
>     Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no
>     miscarriages.
>   In a Swiss mountain inn:
>     Special today -- no ice cream.
>   In a Bangkok temple:
>     It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as
>     a man.
>   In a Tokyo bar:
>     Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
>   In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
>     Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
>   In a Budapest zoo:
>     Please do not feed the animals.  If you have any suitable food,
>     give it to the guard on duty.
>   In the office of a Roman doctor:
>     Specialist in women and other diseases.
>   In a Tokyo shop:
>     Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are
>     best in the long run.
>   From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air
>   conditioner:
>     Cooles and Heates:  If you want just condition of warm in your
>     room, please control yourself.
>   From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
>     When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.
>     Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles
>     your passage then tootle him with vigor.
>   Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
>     -   English well talking.
>     -   Here speeching American.
> --
>               [],
>                  1.000ton
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