Thanks Jean- Yeah, You said it- I've had to learn to pace ie: become debilitated for the most part. The 'payback' for loving to work hard was indeed aweful. We had to move once & it was 90 degrees and very humid for several days during the move- I got through it & then i crashed- it scared me and it scared my folks- I was blacked out on my feet- voices fading in and out, room spinning, breathing real shallow. I laid down for 2 hours & finally was able to get up for the remainder of the day. My folks kept wanting to call the docs- but I really wouldn't have known what to tell them Me: "Hi- I'm weak & feel wierd" Doc: "Sounds like your Crohn's- get some rest". I got thinking after gloria's post. Ya know, I can't even imagine what feeling good would be like- why? I thought about why & came up with this: I feel so aweful that any thought of doiung anythign strenuous exhausts me lol- I'm in a mental mode (Exhaustion mentality) where I can't imagine feeling good- thinking to myself that it will just exhaust me. I keep trying to remind myself that when I went on a course of Prednisone for my Crohn's that the steroids over-rode this exhaustion and I actual Felt like working again & did work again, with no real crashes for awhile (The steroids over-rode the crashes I guess) Then when I came off them- Blah! Right back to exhaustion & not even being able to think about work because I just knew what was comming- Crash time. Well, enough rambling- I don't get to talk about this with people because they only see the shell and can't picture the trouble inside- I look healthy on outside (Except for the bags under my eyes, confusion, can't walk far- you'd think this would be enough to let people know you aren't feeling good, but no- they don't see a missing limb or leperous condition & can't connect I guess) Hard to explain to people what's happening. They look at you & think you're lazy! Grrr. Gimme some steroids & I'll work circles around them! :) I try to explain to people- Get through telling em I just can't do it anymore & they look at me & say "So, you'll be over to dig that 10 foot stump out of hte ground, right?" That's when my jaw just hits the ground lol- It's liek they just don't listen. Well, I suppose I wouldn't either if I were healthy- can't blame em I guess. Well, glad you're doing better- long road, huh? You say that they haven't found a tumor? Are you diagnosed with Acromegaly? Are you being treated with meds? Boy, hope they find the cause for ya- it sure stinks not knowing. Well, not knowing the cause & having docs just shrug their shoulders- You know something is wrong, but can't explain what's worng & docs just don't know what to tell ya- hopefully this isn't the case with you? | 