"Perhaps some patient reader (with a tall screen) has read
down this far, and can suggest modular components for
laptop replacement.  Bonus points if the kludge can talk
to the cell network IN ADDITION TO CAT6 ethernet."

The 1st thing that comes to mind is Raspberry PI, A quick Google turned up this 
video by a UK CS Prof. on this short (8 min) video entitled 'Can a Raspberry Pi 
5 be used as a desktop replacement?'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INSbZ3URZf4

Seems like a reasonably good starting point. 

Unfortunately, on the Debian side there's this, "Currently there is no support 
to Raspberry Pi 5 as it doesn't have enough support in upstream Linux."

Reference - https://wiki.debian.org/RaspberryPiImages

I'm definitely a DebHead, but I've never done anything w. the Pi platform, so 
I've nothing else to offer. 

HTH and I look forward to reading about any adventures in Raspbian Pi land!

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