Couldn't resist this fabulous piece of flame bait! <disclaimer>This is supposed to be harmless fun.</disclaimer>
Folks, it's strange but I just ran this through babelfish.altavista.com and this is what it spat back at me: i.TV is a young and exciting company leveraging open source software to
launch some new and exciting services (long live E. Raymond) in the internet television industry.
Translation of above: ----------------- We have no money, so be prepared to be milked for a stock cert instead of a paycheck. (Note: no mention of salary / pay)
The appended listing is the official job posting, but the reality is that this is a veritable geek casting call. We need everyone from disc jockeys to horse whisperers! (Only the best and brightest, though.) Tons of full time and part time positions must be filled in the next three months. If you think you might have something to offer, PLEASE send a resume!
Translation of above: ----------------- We hope you just graduated college with your PhD, are a little cocky, yet desperate for work - aw crap we'll take anybody! If "infinite concurrent viewers," "last mile solved" and "the 'VoIP' of
Television" mean anything to you, perhaps you want to be along for the ride!
Translation of above: ----------------- If you know how to get Bittorrent + WIFI + Skype Video (a rollercoaster ride of blood sweat and tears) to play well together then we'll actually have a product to market and your stock may be worth something! Come join the team that promises to deliver broadband television services to
millions of viewers worldwide. i.TV makes television networks more profitable, advertisers more effective, IP networks more efficient, and viewers much happier.
Translation of above: ----------------- See: Our corporate mission statement Fun, hunh! Translation of above: ----------------- HELP! I don't know what I've got myself into! We would love to have you join us, IF you...
... are a genius (yes, really. Could you get a PhD if you sought to?) ... actually enjoy hard work ... don't quit -- even when the manual says its impossible ... work well in interdisciplinary teams ... are capable of high quantity and high quality output (concurrently!) ... speak up when you are right and listen when you might not be ... know how to back up your ideas ... can accept others' strengths and offer yours in compliment ... select and master quickly the correct tools for each job rather than applying just the tools you know
Line by Line translation of above: ----------------- 1) Looking for a someone who is either in college, or will graduate soon - PhD Sounded good. 2) Hoping to get someone who will work insane hours - often to the neglect of personal hygene and mental acuity. 3) "The Manual" is code for an iron clad NCNDA which forces you to work only for them or get sued. 4) PC guys will have to get along with MAC folk, and Linux with Windows without arguing about BSOD and proprietary this or that. 5) So financially strapped, we can't hire proper staffing to get stuff done, so be prepared to do everything we can milk out of you. (See also #2) 6) Don't say anything that will offend the Marketing team. 7) tar -czvf /backup/ideas.tgz /home/ideas/* 8) Don't be cocky but do be cocky. (See also #6) 9) We really have to hurry to get our product out the door, so If it can be done better using Java but it works just fine in PHP lets keep the PHP version for now and hopefully we'll score some VC to hire a real team. Kind of a strange translation isn't it - anybody else get the same thing? ;-D -- -- -- Matthew Frederico http://www.ultrize.com http://www.suspendedstudios.com ---------------------------------- Office: (801) 938-4071 /* PLUG: http://plug.org, #utah on irc.freenode.net Unsubscribe: http://plug.org/mailman/options/plug Don't fear the penguin. */
