Brian:

> The problem is the computer is so old it doesn't know how to boot from
> a USB device.

One possibility is to get an IDE to CF adapter and use a Compact Flash 
card for your "hard drive".  The BIOS will see it as a regular IDE 
drive, and you can install Linux without worrying about booting from 
USB.

http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16822998002

(I realize this doesn't allow you to use your thumb drive, but maybe 
there's a similar IDE to USB adapter somewhere out there...)

HTH,
Jeff

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