Rates of depression, suicide and substance abuse have skyrocketed
amongst Wall St. finaciers and bankers, as reposesions are climbing
for missed payments on Ferraris, Bentleighs and Rollers.

A spokesman for the American medical practioners board urged all
Americans to get behind the bailout and consider making a donation if
possible to avert this social tragedy. Treasury secretary Paulson also
made an indivudual plea to the public, declaring it was very
distressing for him to see some of his long time colleagues and
friends suffering needlessly, and that his bi-monthly payment was due
on his Porsche Carrera.


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