It all makes sense now. God, damn the Ruskies! On Wednesday, December 28, 2016 at 7:02:57 AM UTC-6, MJ wrote: > > > December 26, 2016 1:08pm > > *RUSSIAN INTERVENTION EXPOSED *Tim Blair > > Did the Russians really rig the 2016 US election? You bet they did! > > Secret documents recently discovered in a bin behind a Kremlin-district > 24-hour cabbage and tobacco store reveal for the first time the devious > extent of Russian interference. These plans were decades in the making. > > Read on, as never-before-seen communiques between Russian agents Sergei > Potrov and Dimitri Bienko outline the wicked plot – beginning in 1947, on > the day of Hillary Clinton’s birth: > > Dearest Dimitri > > I am pleased to report that phase one of Operation Cankles is total > success! Soviet implantation of stupid American woman resulted in birth > today of hefty girl-child destined to be unelectable candidate 70 years > from now. Child is basically just ankles and head, similar to sturdy and > hard-working female stock from adored Ilmensky Mountains. In decadent > America, nobody will ever vote for such a noble being. Yours in Soviet > solidarity, > > Sergei > > Back in Moscow, Bienko receives the news from his undercover US-based > operative with communist glee: > > Dearest Sergei, You have done very well, comrade! Especially with the > implantation. I trust the child has your eyebrow. We have already begun > looking at similar strategies in other western nations. When you are next > on leave, ask me to show you plans for Operation Julia. Australia is next > to face unforgiving Soviet wrath! Yours, > > Dimitri > > As the years go by, our pair of dedicated spies continue to monitor > Hillary’s progress and other events: > > Dearest Dimitri, Greetings again from Americas. Heh heh heh! Apologies > for chuckles, but am watching hilarious documentary called Honeymooners. Is > about domestic violence. Very good. Am needing laugh because hips in pain > from imitating the Elvis Presley. Will send you LP of the Presley once > Russia has record players. Hillary now at school and shunned by corrupt > classmates in thrall of military-industrial capitalism. All proceeding > exactly according to strategic project timeline. Yours in everlasting > revolution, > > Sergei > > Called away from Operation Cankles for a brief and triumphant mission to > Dallas in 1963, Potrov soon returns to his main quest: > > Dearest Dimitri, My ‘holiday’ in Texas was wonderful, thank you for > asking. Not so good for Agent Oswald, however. I will miss him. He could > make a fine okroshka soup, which is very rare here. The Americans, they > prefer their eggs shelled and cooked. And from birds. How is this for > funny? Hillary ran for president of high school and lost to braggart teen > with big crazy hair and grabby hands! Is almost like a practice run or > something. Next step is to find university for her. Wellesley is ideal. > More communists than all of Soviet Union, except parents drive Cadillacs > (sort of like our ZiL, but wheels stay on). Yours in earnest progress, > > Sergei > > Occasionally Agent Potrov would vanish from the attention of his Soviet > overlords, as this urgent 1967 cable shows: > > Comrade Sergei Potrov, We have not heard from you since you volunteered > to investigate the ‘counterculture movement’ in San Francisco three months > ago. We assume that your one message, requesting ‘more bread, man’ to buy > ‘reefer and doobies’, was written in a code unknown even to our finest > cryptographers. > > Also, the message was sent on paper from which several strips had been > torn. Have you insufficient funds to purchase cigarettes? Please contact > your superiors immediately. And stop playing Creedence on our interspy > sonic network. This is not what the Soviet surveillance system is for. Yours > in concern, Central Command > > During the mid-70s, the Russians toast a mission-advancing coup: > > It is not to be believed! Hillary is getting married – to a man! You owe > me 50 rubles, Dimitri. The fellow is Bill, called by friends ‘horn dog’, > ‘el squeezo’ and ‘the Arkansas assman’. He is very political. All his > girlfriends say so. By ‘all his girlfriends’, I mean whole female > population of Little Rock. He go through them like great winter purge of > traitor generals. This can only assist our mission. Perhaps this Bill > will even make it to the White House, if he can keep it in his pants for > long enough (is phrase I pick up here). Yours in jubilation, > > Sergei > > Even tectonic global changes could not sway Agents Potrov and Bienko from > their cause: > > Dearest Sergei, Alas, our beloved Soviet Union is no more. Gorbachev has > ruined everything. Please do not give up on Operation Cankles. It may prove > to be the final major accomplishment of our great land and heroic peoples. In > other news, our budget has been slightly trimmed. Suggest you monitor > Hillary from American streets, where lucrative sign-holding job will > provide cover and help pay rent. Yours in Glasnost, > > Dimitri > > Finally, on November 8, 2016, Sergei’s long mission comes to a victorious > conclusion – on the veteran agent’s 94th birthday: > > Dearest Dimitri, I know you have been dead ten years already, but I write > to you for fondness and memories. Great friend, it is done. All that we > have worked for, all that we have planned, all that we have dreamed. Our > unelectable candidate was truly unelectable. Even the other patients here > in the home did not vote for her. One voted for Eisenhower. My time is > not long, Dimitri. Soon I shall see you again, in the heaven that is a > frozen-solid Siberian grave. We will rest in honour. Our work on this earth > is complete. Yours in espionage, > > Sergei > > > > > http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/blogs/tim-blair/russian-intervention-exposed/news-story/576784a3e4429d42901b65436d118021 > >
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